The question of spiritual maturity can feel daunting. We often default to measuring outward behaviors, creating checklists of “good Christian” actions. But true spiritual formation, the ongoing deepening of our relationship with Jesus, is a far more nuanced and internal process. It’s less about ticking boxes, and more about a quiet transformation of the heart.
Think of Jesus’ own journey: from boyhood to adult, ministry maturing, culminating in the profound shift of his final weeks. This wasn’t just a change in outward activity, but a deep inner reshaping. Throughout history, mystics and theologians—from Teresa of Avila with “The Four Waters” and “The Interior Castle” motifs, St. John of the Cross’ stages of spiritual development to contemporary thinkers like Ruth Haley Barton and Dallas Willard—have attempted to articulate this often-ineffable process. They offer glimpses into the spiritual shifts that occur as we grow in Christ.
One helpful lens for understanding this growth is the movement from a more expressive to a more contemplative spirituality. It’s important to emphasize that neither is “better” or a definitive marker of maturity. They are simply different facets of a deepening relationship with God. The journey isn’t linear, and we may experience both aspects at different times.
Expressive Spirituality: This is the vibrant outpouring of faith. It’s the joy that bursts into song, the awe that lifts hands in worship, the grief that cries out in lament. It’s often communal, fueled by shared emotion and outward action. Many churches excel in fostering this expressive dimension, creating spaces for passionate worship and vibrant fellowship.
Contemplative Spirituality: This is the quiet work of inner transformation. It’s the still, small voice that whispers in the silence, the yearning for deeper connection that drives us to prayer and reflection. It’s the process of surrendering our will, letting go of ego, and cultivating virtues like humility and compassion. It’s not about withdrawing from the world, but about deepening our connection with God so that our outward actions flow from a place of inner peace and love.
The Shift: As we mature spiritually, we often see a natural movement towards a more contemplative approach. This doesn’t mean abandoning the joy and passion of expressive worship. Instead, it means that our outward expressions become rooted in a deeper, more profound inner life. It’s like the difference between a fire that blazes brightly and a steady, glowing ember that warms from within.
How to make the shifts to a more Contemplative Spirituality:
The paths to a more contemplative spirituality are unlimited. But there are three themes that I have experienced, observed, and learned from the pioneers that have gone before us. They are not principles but tend to be common traits of contemplatives.
Person
Someone who you have a relationship with who is an effective listener to hear your insights about your formation, a spiritual friend, or spiritual director.
Place
A sacred place, a park, or retreat center where you are far from distraction so that you can hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.
People
Doing life in community with others moving in a similar direction where you can join in the daily rhythms of work, play, and spiritual practices.
Nurturing Your Contemplative Side:
There’s no single path to contemplative spirituality, but three common themes often emerge:
Person: Having a trusted companion – a spiritual friend, mentor, or director – who listens deeply and reflects back your own insights about your spiritual formation.
Place: Finding a sacred space, whether it’s a quiet park, a peaceful retreat center, monastery, or even a corner in your home, where you can minimize distractions and listen for the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.
People: Connecting with others on a similar journey, sharing life in community, and participating in the rhythms of work, play, and spiritual practices together.
Are You Drawn to Contemplative Spirituality?
The following questions are designed to help you discern if you’re experiencing this shift. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. This is simply a tool for self-reflection. Use the scale from 1 (None) to 5 (Always) to rate yourself.
How engaged are you in a relationship with a listener, spiritual friend or, under direction?
How excited do you feel about a personal spiritual retreat?
How regularly do you connect with others who are on the journey with you?
(Add up all the column scores and divide by 3) AGGREGATE SCORE
A higher score may suggest a leaning towards contemplative spirituality. However, this is just one piece of the puzzle. Spiritual maturity isn’t about achieving a certain score or fitting into a specific category. It’s about the ongoing journey of surrendering to God’s love and allowing Him to transform us from the inside out. It’s about embracing both the expressive and contemplative dimensions of faith, allowing them to inform and enrich one another.
This journey is deeply personal and often difficult to articulate. That’s why the wisdom of those who have walked this path before us—the mystics, the theologians, the spiritual guides—is so invaluable. They offer us language and frameworks for understanding the mysterious and beautiful work of spiritual formation.
Mentoring for Coach Certification:
Having journeyed through the three levels of coach certification with the International Coach Federation (ICF) over 13 years (2007-2020), I understand the power of mentorship. The 10 hours of mentoring required for each level were transformative for me. Having a trained assessor provide feedback, create awareness, and introduce new ways of engaging was a game-changer!
To maintain my Master Certified Coach (MCC) credential, I recently completed 40 hours of coach assessor training (Continuing Coach Education Units or CCEUs). This allows me to mentor other coaches and assess their coaching competency. My extensive work with Bob Logan researching and developing world-class Christian coaches gives me a unique perspective, blending the best of both worlds. (Check out our resources HERE).
Whether working one-on-one or in a cohort, I come alongside coaches to help them reach the next level of certification or simply improve their coaching skills. If you’re interested in exploring coach certification with ICF or enhancing your coaching, I’d love to connect.
Schedule a free discovery call with my assistant, Samantha (admin@inforcusnet.org), to discuss how we can partner together in 2025 to cultivate your coaching effectiveness!
This is a risky exercise. I know I’ll inevitably leave out some truly important names. Several years ago, I faced a daunting task: curating my overflowing library. I aimed to distill the books that truly mattered, ruthlessly reducing my collection by 80%. The idea was simple: keep the essentials, digitize the maybes, and reclaim precious shelf space. But the execution? Painful. Nights were spent agonizing over decisions, stress gnawed at me, but I persevered. I got it done.
My initial reflections on this process are below. But first, let’s explore why curating your library—in the truest sense of the word—is so vital.
What does it mean to curate a library?
In this context, “curate” means more than just organizing shelves; it’s about intentionally selecting, organizing, and caring for the authors and books that have profoundly influenced you. It’s about recognizing the power of the written word to shape your soul. Think of the original meaning of someone who “curates”: a person entrusted with the care of souls. That’s the spirit we’re aiming for here.
Why is this so important?
What you read reveals who you are and who you are becoming. It’s a mirror reflecting your inner life. We could preach a sermon on this! How do you spend your time? Who forms your inner circle? Tell me what you read. These questions are inextricably linked.
Curating your library allows you to:
Dig a deep reservoir of knowledge: Information overload is a modern plague. We can’t possibly keep up with the daily deluge of content, but we can cultivate depth. Focus on the topics that resonate with your soul and foster your leadership vision, guided by the Holy Spirit, and immerse yourself in the wisdom of those who have gone before. This focused reading builds a deep well of understanding you can draw from for years to come.
Pass on wisdom to others: Leaders are constantly challenged to stay informed, to be conversant on a wide range of subjects, to have the right answers. Knowing which authors to read, which voices to heed, is crucial for empowering those you lead. Your curated library becomes a resource for their growth as well.
A Reflection Exercise:
Consider your faith journey. Which authors have had the greatest impact on you? The Bible, of course, tops the list. But beyond Scripture, which books have shaped your character, influenced your discipleship, impacted you theologically, motivated you missionally, expanded your leadership, challenged your assumptions, or simply blessed your soul?
These reflection questions are designed to spark your memory: Who has God used to…
…shape your character?
…influence your discipleship?
…impact you theologically?
…motivate you missionally?
…expand your leadership?
…challenge you?
…bless you?
This list is just a starting point. Answer each question individually, brainstorm a list of names, or find your own way to reflect. The important thing is to give this process the careful consideration it deserves.
Some of my touchstones:
Life Together – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Master Plan of Evangelism – Robert Coleman
The Coming Church Revolution – Carl George
Organic Church – Neil Cole
As You Go…Make Disciples – Colin Noyes
How to Curate Your Library:
Reflect: Identify the authors who have profoundly impacted you and your ministry.
Narrow: From that list, select the books you truly need to keep on your shelf. These are the works you return to again and again.
Box it up: Pack the remaining books into boxes.
The Year of Testing: For the next year, mark which books you pull from the boxes and which remain untouched.
The Great Cull: At the end of the year, make the necessary changes. Donate the unused books to a deserving emerging leader.
Mentoring for Coach Certification:
Over 13 years (2007-2020) and three levels of certification with the International Coach Federation (ICF), I discovered the power of mentorship. The required 10 hours of mentor coaching for each level (Associate, Professional, and Master) were transformative. Feedback, awareness, and new perspectives were game-changers.
To maintain my Master certification, I recently completed 40 hours of coach assessor training (Continuing Coach Education Units or CCEUs). This allows me to mentor other coaches and assess their competencies. My extensive work with Bob Logan researching and developing world-class Christian coaches adds another dimension to my mentoring. (You can find our resources here: CLICK HERE).
Whether you’re pursuing ICF certification or simply seeking to refine your coaching skills, I offer one-on-one and cohort mentoring. If you’re interested in exploring how we can cultivate your coaching effectiveness in 2025, schedule a free discovery call with my assistant, Samantha (admin@infocusnet.org). Let’s work together to unlock your full potential as a coach.
Look for a new resource to equip coach mentors to guide coaches through their Journey of Ongoing Growth later this year!
Some of the people God has used in my journey have provided keen awareness of God’s activity in my life. We have never met in person, but they have influenced me through their books, teachings, videos, etc. One writer, who is currently sitting in that space in my life, has helped me on my journey to create new spiritual rhythms in the midst of launching our adult children into their chosen fields, helping sort through health issues with various family members, and exploring new ministry opportunities internationally.
The writings of St. Ignatius have been the instrument God has used for this purpose. I will never meet him, this side of heaven, however, his writings from the 1500s have put light on my path and many, many others who are looking to deepen their understanding of God’s activity in life.
A note about the Ignatian Exercises: you should not attempt to go it alone! In the development of the exercises, Ignatius encouraged the vital role of a “listener” to help the participant discern the voices we hear and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to navigate the process of spiritual formation
I wrote a blog entitled How to Make a Prayerful Decision, where I summarize the decision-making process St. Ignatius introduced. This process can change the focus and intent when discerning God’s will in a matter. When I used it as part of a weekend planning conversation with a regional, denominational team, it helped participants come to a God-honoring decision regarding the future leadership structure.
God has used many authors and teachers to help me sharpen my coaching skills. One of those voices he has used is Michael Bunjay Steiner, author of “The Coaching Habit.” I referenced him in a blog entitled: What Is the Best Way to Turn a Corner? Of all the books I’ve read on coaching, this is the best secular book I have come across as I’ve progressed through my coach certification with the International Coach Federation (see bottom of blog for more). His simple approach boiled the coaching conversation down to these four questions:
What’s on your mind?
What’s the real challenge for you?
What do you want?
How can I help?
In addition, throughout the certification process I learned from dozens of international practitioners who are thought leaders in the international coaching community.
These are just two people who have influenced me in my personal and ministry journey.
Who has influenced you?
Expanding on the Types of Influence:
Books and Writings: These offer a unique window into another person’s thoughts and experiences. They can provide new perspectives, challenge our assumptions, and offer practical guidance. The written word transcends time and space, allowing us to connect with individuals from centuries past, like St. Ignatius, whose wisdom remains relevant today. Beyond the content itself, the act of reading engages our minds and encourages reflection, further deepening the impact.
Teachings (Formal and Informal): Teachers, whether in a formal setting or through recorded lectures and videos, distill complex ideas into digestible formats. They often provide frameworks for understanding difficult concepts and inspire us to learn more. Michael Bunjay Steiner is one such teacher God has used in my development as a coach.
Shared Experiences and Stories: Hearing about the lives of others, their struggles, and their triumphs, can be incredibly impactful. These stories offer vicarious learning experiences, allowing us to glean wisdom from others’ journeys without having to walk the same path ourselves. Biographies, documentaries, and autobiographies provide these valuable insights.
Personal Conversations: Direct interaction, even if brief, can leave a lasting impression. A single conversation can spark a new idea, offer encouragement, or challenge a long-held belief. The personal connection creates a different level of engagement and can be particularly powerful.
The Impact of These Influences:
God’s Faithfulness: Recognizing the diverse ways God works through others reinforces His faithfulness. It reminds us that He is constantly present and actively involved in our lives, even through seemingly ordinary encounters.
Diversity of Gifts: The variety of individuals who influence us highlights the richness and diversity of God’s gifts. Each person brings unique talents, perspectives, and experiences to the table, enriching our understanding of the world and ourselves.
Lineage of Faithful Servants: Connecting with the wisdom of those who have come before us creates a sense of continuity and belonging. It reminds us that we are part of a larger story, a lineage of faith that stretches back through generations.
Spiritual Direction and Growth: As I mentioned, the influence of figures like St. Ignatius can provide profound spiritual direction. Their writings and teachings can offer guidance in prayer, discernment, and the development of spiritual practices. The Ignatian Exercises, with their emphasis on guided reflection, exemplify the importance of having a “listener” or spiritual director to help navigate the journey. This highlights the value of seeking counsel and guidance from others as we grow in our faith.
Reflecting on Your Own Influences:
It’s a valuable exercise to regularly reflect on the people who have influenced you. Consider:
Who are the individuals whose words or actions have resonated most deeply with you?
What specific lessons have you learned from them?
How have these influences shaped your beliefs, values, and actions?
How can you continue to learn from these individuals, even if you can’t interact with them directly?
By consciously acknowledging the impact of these “multitude of voices,” we can gain a deeper appreciation for God’s work in our lives and continue to grow in wisdom and understanding.
MENTORING FOR COACH CERTIFICATION
Over the 13 years (2007-2020) it took to move through the three levels of coach certification with the International Coach Certification (ICF) I learned a lot. One of the requirements to attain the initial certification for the Associate Certified coach, advance from the Associate to the Professional, and from the professional to Master – is 10 hours of coach mentoring. This was the most impactful aspect of the certification process for me. Having a trained assessor provide feedback, create awareness, and introduce new ways to engage was a game changer!
In this last cycle, to maintain my Master certification (that is me in the photo at the top), I went through 40 hours of coach assessor training (called Continuing Coach Education Units or CCEUs) so that I can come alongside other coaches as a mentor to assess their coaching competency. The extensive work I’ve done with my colleague, Bob Logan, to research and develop world-class Christian coaches, gives me the added advantage of bringing those two worlds together. Here are the resources we developed to equip leaders in coaching – CLICK HERE. Whether working one-to-one or in a cohort, I come alongside coaches to attain the next level of certification or simply improve their coaching. If you are interested in learning more about becoming a certified coach with ICF or improving your coaching, I invite you to explore a coach mentoring relationship with me.
Please schedule a free discovery call with my assistant, Samantha (admin@inforcusnet.org), to explore how we can work together to cultivate your coaching effectiveness in 2025!
Have you ever stopped to consider the people who have profoundly shaped your faith and leadership? These individuals, often quietly working in the background, leave an indelible mark on our character, and guide us toward our true potential. Reflecting on their influence is a powerful way to recognize God’s hand in our lives, and discover how we too can impact others.
Think back to your childhood. For me, a pivotal figure was Mr. Gillard, my 4th-grade Sunday School teacher. To a scrawny group of 12-year-old boys, he seemed larger than life. He combined firmness with gentleness, planting seeds of faith by committing Scripture to memory, reading the Bible, and engaging in lessons. I still remember Saturday night cramming sessions and the anticipation of Sunday morning. Mr. Gillard, along with my parents and others, created a safe and loving community where my faith could take root and flourish.
Why is it so important to look back on these influential figures? It allows us to:
Recognize God’s Provision: We see how He orchestrated the perfect people for our journey.
Revisit Valuable Lessons: We rediscover the wisdom they imparted.
Appreciate the Power of Community: We understand the importance of connection and support.
Challenge the Myth of Independence: We acknowledge that we’re not meant to walk this path alone.
Celebrate our Spiritual Heritage: We honor the legacy of those who came before us.
Now, let’s turn the page to your leadership journey. Who has shaped you as a leader? Reflecting on this question reveals a great deal about who you are. I’ve personally experienced the profound impact of mentors and wrote a blog post expressing my gratitude. My biggest takeaway…I was never truly alone; the right people always appeared at the right time.
Who has helped you grow and develop as a leader?
Take some time to reflect:
Brainstorm: Jot down the names of people who have influenced your leadership.
Pray: Ask God to bring others to mind.
Complete your List: Add any names that come to you.
Give Thanks: Express gratitude for God’s provision.
In my early ministry, I guided leaders through an exercise called “Symbol Timeline,” helping them visually map out the people who shaped their lives. From there, they identified key lessons and values. You can learn more about this exercise here.
Don’t just think about it – live it!
What’s one specific action you can take this week to live out your values? Our actions speak volumes. When others see us prioritizing our values, it inspires them to do the same.
May we all find the time to reflect on those who have shaped our character and leadership, and join Jesus on His mission.
Need help clarifying your personal mission?
Ready to embark on a coaching journey? Schedule a free discovery call with my assistant, Samantha (admin@inforcusnet.org), to explore how we can work together to cultivate your soul for greater ministry effectiveness in 2025!
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