The High Cost of the “Expert” Mindset: Why Pay-to-Play Soccer and Professionalized Ministry Can Hinder Movements
During my early morning walk, I noticed a scene that illustrated one of the great challenges in disciple-making movements in the West. There is a striking parallel between the way the US develops its soccer players and the way the dominant centralized church model in the US attempts to develop disciples. In both arenas, we have fallen into the trap of professionalization. We operate under the assumption that if we want real results, we must outsource the work to hired experts.
The results, however, speak for themselves: stagnation, plateaued growth, and a distinct lack of the creative, organic movement seen across the rest of the globe.
The Soccer Problem: Street Ball vs. The Structured Academy
In the image above, we see a classic scene from American youth sports: a sprawling, pristine facility where a professional coach directs a small group of children while parents watch from the sidelines. The centralized authority of the coach guiding the children under the watchful, passive eyes of the adults.
While this looks organized and well-funded, it highlights exactly why the United States historically struggles to compete at the highest levels of global soccer. Most soccer experts agree that young players learn the fundamentals of the game at the grassroots in their neighborhoods. Once the young person’s potential is seen by scouts, the academies can be a wonderful environment to develop players into professionals, or if they are serious about making it on the international stage, they go to Europe. But until the sport is deeply rooted in the culture, the void will be filled with professionals – for better or worse!
The Global Model (Organic Play): In Argentina, Brazil, England, France, and across Africa, soccer is learned in the streets, alleys, and local parks. Children play unorganized, high-stakes pickup games for hours or join a club to learn from their peers and more experienced players. They learn spatial awareness, grit, and improvisational creativity because they have to survive the chaos.
The American Model (The Pay-to-Play Bubble): In the U.S., we have commercialized youth development. We hire professional coaches to run structured drills for an hour or two a week. The game becomes rigid, over-coached, and expensive.
By outsourcing the game to “experts,” we strip children of ownership, raw passion, and the thousands of unmonitored touches on the ball that breed true instinctual genius.
The Spiritual Parallel: The Dominant Centralized Church Model
This exact structural flaw is crippling the local church. Somewhere along the line, everyday Christians outsourced the Great Commission.
Just as soccer parents pull up a lawn chair to watch a hired coach develop their child’s athletic ability, churchgoers frequently sit in pews to watch a hired pastor do the work of ministry. We pay professionals to preach, evangelize, counsel, and plant churches, reducing the average believer to a passive consumer.
The Historical Reality: Church history and modern missiology prove that whenever the ministry of making disciples and planting churches is outsourced exclusively to professionals, movements plateau.
When a movement requires a seminary degree, a salary, and a corporate budget to function, it can lose the dynamics of a movement. It can become a bureaucracy.
The Path Forward: Returning the Game to the People
To spark a true Disciple-Making Movement (DMM)—or to build world-class soccer players—the strategy must shift from centralized professionalism to distributed empowerment.
Every believer is a disciple-maker; simple churches focus on mobilization to multiply.
Have you taken the Disciple-Making Assessment?
Breaking out of that deeply ingrained “spectator” mindset isn’t easy, but there are local communities successfully making the shift right now.
I recently picked up a book titled “7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches.” It is a fascinating read—one of the few I’ve found that digs into the traits of North American churches that are quietly adopting the powerful principles used by global disciple-making movements. Unlike the high-profile mega-churches that usually dominate our newsfeeds, these networks often fly under the radar, focusing more on depth than on the spotlight.
Are you ready to see where you stand? I’ve created an assessment to guide you and your team through the process to spark crucial conversations.
👉 [CLICK HERE to assess the Disciple-Making culture in your church!]
Let’s move together from just managing crowds to truly multiplying the Kingdom. I’d love to hear what you discover as you walk through this with your team!
The Coaching Secret: Why the Best Leaders Never Stop Growing
We have all met them—the leaders who seem to have it all together, yet their growth has hit a distinct plateau. Then, there are the others. The ones who are constantly expanding their capacity, handling fresh challenges with a surprising amount of grace, and lifting everyone around them.
When I reflect on the leaders I have coached or trained to be coaches, the vast majority were coachable. C.S. Lewis stated, ‘Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.’ This is foundational to a coachable leader. Occasionally, I encountered leaders who thought a lot about themselves and less about others. It required a lot of heavy lifting and patience on my part to work with the latter.
What separates the two? It isn’t raw talent or a higher IQ. It comes down to one game-changing trait: coachability.
In his insightful book, Ten Marks of a Coachable Leader, Gary Rohrmayer unpacks what it looks like when a leader is truly ready to grow. If you are a coach, a mentor, or a leader wanting to invest in your team, recognizing these traits changes everything. Let’s walk through Rohrmayer’s ten marks together, complete with a quick gut-check for you as the coach and an inventory question to ask the leaders you serve.
1. Understanding Spiritual Authority
Coachable leaders recognize that they aren’t the ultimate authority; they operate under a bigger, divine map. They willingly yield their own ego and agenda because they respect the spiritual guardrails and leadership structures placed around them.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I modeling a yielded life, or am I leaning too heavily on my own expertise and title?
Assessment Question for the Leader:Where are you currently wrestling with submission to authority, and how is that impacting your peace?
2. Action-Oriented
Insight without action is just a nice conversation. Coachable leaders don’t just nod along during a session; they leave the room looking for ways to immediately test, apply, and execute the strategies you discussed.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I celebrating a leader’s insights, or am I pushing them toward concrete, measurable action steps?
Assessment Question for the Leader:Looking at our last conversation, what is the single most important action step you took?
3. Stretchable
True growth happens right at the edge of our comfort zones. These leaders don’t shrink back when a goal feels intimidating; instead, they allow their coaches to expand their thinking, their capacity, and their vision for what is possible.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I playing it too safe with this leader, or am I offering healthy challenges that stretch their faith and skills?
Assessment Question for the Leader:What is one goal on your plate right now that feels just beyond your current strength, and how can we approach it?
4. Exhibiting Readiness and Adaptability
Change is the only constant in leadership, and coachable people don’t break when the winds shift. They maintain an agile mindset, staying mentally prepared to pivot their strategies when circumstances mutate.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I helping this leader anticipate shifting tides, or am I just helping them manage their current routine?
Assessment Question for the Leader:When unexpected changes hit your organization recently, how did your team see you respond?
5. Taking Initiative with the Coach
The best coaching relationships are pulled, not pushed. A coachable leader doesn’t wait for their mentor to chase them down, send reminders, or provide artificial motivation; they own their growth and actively drive the relationship forward.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I doing too much heavy lifting or chasing this leader down to get them to show up?
Assessment Question for the Leader:How can you take greater ownership of our time together to ensure we are tackling your highest priorities?
6. Making Key Adjustments
It is one thing to identify a blind spot; it’s quite another to actually change your behavior. Coachable leaders have the humility and willpower to alter their habits, schedules, and communication styles based on honest feedback.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I giving specific, actionable feedback that allows the leader to make precise behavioral shifts?
Assessment Question for the Leader:What is one piece of recent feedback you’ve received that requires you to alter a daily habit?
7. Embracing Reality
You cannot fix what you refuse to see. Leaders who are ready to grow don’t sugarcoat bad numbers, minimize conflict, or make excuses for poor performance—they look reality square in the eye so they can deal with it honestly.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I letting this leader spin a narrative, or am I gently helping them confront the hard, objective facts?
Assessment Question for the Leader:If we strip away all the excuses, what is the raw, unvarnished truth about the current state of your ministry?
8. Tenacious
Growth isn’t a straight line upward; it involves setbacks, criticism, and flat-out exhausting days. Tenacious leaders possess the grit to stay the course, honoring their commitments and pushing through obstacles even when the initial excitement fades.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:How am I fortifying this leader’s endurance and spiritual reserves rather than just giving them tactical advice?
Assessment Question for the Leader:Where are you feeling tempted to throw in the towel right now, and what is keeping you anchored?
9. Possessing a Constructive Spirit of Discontent
This isn’t a toxic, cynical complaint—it’s a holy restlessness. Coachable leaders have a deep gratitude for where they are, combined with a sharp, clear vision that whispers, “This could be better, and we can go further.”
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I helping the leader distinguish between healthy, visionary discontent and unhealthy, exhausting burnout?
Assessment Question for the Leader:What is the one area under your leadership that you are most proud of, yet know has the greatest room to grow?
10. Letting Go of the Past and Pushing Forward
Yesterday’s failures can paralyze us, but yesterday’s successes can trap us just as easily. A coachable leader processes the past, extracts the wisdom, and then consciously releases it so they can run unhindered into the future God has prepared for them.
Self-Reflection for the Coach:Am I allowing this leader to live in the rearview mirror, or am I consistently pointing their gaze to the horizon?
Assessment Question for the Leader:What old narrative, failure, or past success do you need to finally leave behind so you can fully step into what’s next?
Why This Book Belongs on Your Shelf
If your mission is to empower other leaders, Ten Marks of a Coachable Leader is a critical tool for your toolkit. Here is how it maximizes your impact:
Smarter Selection: Use these ten marks as a strategic grid to vet the leaders and emerging leaders around you. It will help you quickly identify the hungriest, highest-potential leaders so you can invest your limited time and energy where it will yield the greatest return.
Personal Clarification: Leadership development is a mirror. This book serves as a personal gut-check, reminding you to keep your own spirit humble, stay coachable, and fully capitalize on the growth opportunities right in front of you.
Immediate Accessibility: Don’t let the slim size fool you. This is a clear, fast-paced read packed with highly practical insights that you can immediately apply to your own life and share with the leaders you are mentoring.
The Bottom Line: Coaching isn’t about fixing broken leaders; it’s about unlocking the latent potential in healthy, hungry ones. When you spot these ten marks, you aren’t just looking at a leader—you’re looking at a catalyst for the future.
The beauty of a truly effective coaching framework lies not in its complexity, but in its simplicity. When a process is straightforward, it becomes reproducible—allowing leaders to pass it on and empower others seamlessly. I am always on the lookout for ways to communicate what coaching is and how it works.
The framework taught by Gary Rohrmayer at www.axelerate.org nails this balance perfectly. It strips away the academic fluff and provides a clear, three-stage roadmap powered by nine core skills that can transform any leadership conversation. It is causing me to rethink how I communicate the coaching process we use in a more reproducible manner.
Here is a breakdown of how this simple, reproducible process works and the skills that bring it to life.
The Three-Stage Coaching Process
This process flows logically from building trust to taking decisive action. Because it is easy to memorize and execute, it can be scaled across any ministry context.
1. Connecting Relationally
Every great coaching relationship begins with trust, not an agenda. Before diving into goals or strategies, a coach establishes rapport and alignment. This stage is about ensuring the person feels seen, heard, and valued. Without a strong relational foundation, any strategic advice given later will carry little weight.
2. Clarifying Strategically
Once a relational bridge is built, the focus shifts to gaining clarity. This is where you help the leader look at the big picture, unpack their current reality, and identify the actual roadblocks or opportunities ahead of them. It is about narrowing down a chaotic list of ideas into a focused strategic direction.
3. Committing Specifically
Clarity without commitment is just a nice conversation. The final phase of the process anchors the discussion into reality. The coach helps the leader define clear, measurable next steps, establishing ownership and timelines. By leaving the conversation with a specific commitment, the leader knows exactly what success looks like before the next meeting.
The 9 Core Skills of an Effective Coach
While the three-stage process provides the tracks, these nine essential skills serve as the engine. They aren’t confined to a single stage; rather, they are woven throughout the entire coaching conversation.
Skill
Description
Credibility
Your character, competence, and consistency. It’s what earns you the right to be heard in the leader’s life.
Active Listening
Hearing what is said and what is left unsaid. It requires giving 100% of your attention and reflecting back what you hear.
Asking Good Questions
Shifting from telling to asking. Open-ended questions spark self-discovery and unlock insights that a directive statement never could.
Goal Setting
Helping the leader articulate clear, realistic, and inspiring milestones that stretch them without breaking them.
Problem Solving
Guiding the leader to diagnose obstacles objectively and brainstorm creative paths around them.
Truth Telling
Speaking the hard truth with love. A great coach names reality and offers honest feedback when a leader has a blind spot.
Grace Giving
Creating a safe space for failure. When a leader falls short of a goal, grace ensures they view it as a learning opportunity rather than a dead end.
Resourcing
Knowing when to introduce a tool, a book, a contact, or a concept that accelerates the leader’s growth.
Sponsoring
Championing the leader. Believing in them, advocating for them, and reminding them of their potential when their own confidence wavers.
The Takeaway: The power of Rohrmayer’s framework is that it doesn’t require a master’s degree to implement. By mastering the rhythm of Connecting, Clarifying, and Committing—while leaning into these nine foundational skills—any leader can create a culture of continuous development. It is coaching stripped down to its most potent, reproducible essence.
When it comes to coaching disciples and disciple-makers, accountability is a delicate dance. I’m often reminded of this with the small group of men I lead. If I come in too hot, it pushes people away. If I’m too soft, the impact gets lost.
Over the years, I’ve found a “gentle but firm” sweet spot that works beautifully, and it boils down to a simple routine we practice during the last 15 minutes of our time together:
1. Reflect: Everyone takes a few moments to sit with the Scripture we’ve discussed and ask the Holy Spirit to prompt them with one actionable takeaway.
2. Schedule: Once they’ve discerned that step, they lock it into their phone calendar as a reminder for the upcoming week.
3. Share (Optionally): We come back together, and everyone has the option to share their step. There’s no pressure, but interestingly enough, everyone usually does!
The following week, we open our session with a quick check-in to hear what everyone learned. What I love about this approach is that it builds organic accountability on everyone’s own terms—including mine!
Learning from the Best
As a coach, I always keep an eye out for world-class secular experts whose insights can be curated to serve leaders in the church, church planting networks, and international missions.
That’s why Michael Bungay Stanier has caught my attention recently.
You might know him as the author of The Coaching Habit (the best-selling book on coaching this century) or recognize him as a Rhodes Scholar named by the ICF and Thinkers50 as a premier voice shaping modern coaching. He’s a brilliant Australian living in Canada, and he has some profound things to say about accountability.
I think his perspective is well worth tuning into at the FREEupcoming Coaching.com Summit on June 8th at 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST.
While my immediate thought is how this can empower front-line disciple-makers, his insights apply just as powerfully to pastors, church planters, and executive leaders serving in the organizational C-suite.
His session, “Courageous Commitment: The Accountability Shift for Coaches,” promises to deliver three great takeaways:
1. Three insights that explain exactly why it’s so hard to hold ourselves to the tasks we truly want to achieve.
2. Three paradoxes about accountability that will twist your thinking up in the most delightful way.
3. A surprise finale that’s under wraps— you’ll have to tune in to see it unfold!
If you’re looking to sharpen how you maintain accountability for yourself first and foremost, walk alongside others as they make disciples, and elevate leaders you empower through coaching in their ministries, I’d love for you to join me for this webinar.
Here is how to register – CLICK HERE. Sign up for the FREE access. You will have access to a bunch of other sessions that might be of interest as well, but I recommend “Courageous Commitment: The Accountability Shift for Coaches,” led by Michael Bungay Stanier.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to invite a neighbor to a church event, only to hesitate with your hand hovering over the doorbell?
If we’re being completely honest, there’s a common roadblock many of us face as followers of Jesus: the relationship gap. My hunch is that most people in your church feel the same. When we think about the people living right next door, we realize the depth of connection just isn’t there yet. We want to extend an invitation, but deep down, we know there’s a vital step missing. Way before an invitation to a church event is ever made, we have to ask ourselves: Do our neighbors actually feel seen?
Realizing this sparked a journey for my wife and me. We decided to bridge that gap by opening our front door and creating safe, inviting dinners right inside our home.
The result? It has been incredibly rich and rewarding. By simply sharing a meal, we’ve started to build a beautiful foundation of mutual trust and appreciation. It doesn’t happen by accident—it takes time and focus—but the payoff is life-changing.
What Does It Take?
You don’t need a degree in hospitality or a spotless house. It really just takes three things:
Intentionality: Making a conscious choice to slow down and focus on the people around you.
Prayer: Asking God to prepare your heart and the hearts of your neighbors.
Boldness: Taking that small, courageous step to step out of your comfort zone.
How We Did It (And You & Your People Can Too!)
Getting started is simpler than you think. We broke it down into four straightforward steps:
Set a date: Put it on the calendar so it’s real.
Create a list: Write down the names of the neighbors with whom you want to connect.
Make a plan: Keep it simple—no need to overcomplicate the evening.
Begin making invites: Take a deep breath and ask them!
A Few Things We Learned Along the Way
We’ve picked up some practical wisdom from hosting dinners like this in the past that made a massive difference in how the evening flowed:
Keep it cozy: We found that 4 couples (give or take) is the sweet spot for meaningful, inclusive conversation where everyone gets to participate.
Share the load: Make it a potluck-style meal. People love to contribute, and it takes the pressure off you as the host.
Guide the conversation: Create a few light conversation prompts to break the ice, then just let the natural group dynamic flow.
Try These Icebreakers: Here are three simple questions we used that sparked wonderful conversations:
What brought you to our neighborhood?
What are you enjoying most about your life right now?
What are you most excited about looking ahead to?
By the end of our last gathering, we simply asked if everyone would like to swap contact information, just in case anyone ever needed a hand with something. Without a moment’s hesitation, every single couple enthusiastically said “yes!”
The Big Takeaway
This might seem elementary, but in our current cultural moment, connection is king.
If you’re wondering whether your neighbors will respond, keep these three truths in mind:
People are yearning for community. Loneliness is at an all-time high; people want to be known.
People respond positively to the right invitation. A warm, no-pressure welcome goes a very long way.
Your living room is a bridge. Someone who might say “no” to a church event will often say a resounding “yes” to coming into your home as a beautiful first step.
Building community right where you live takes a little effort, but the community waiting to be unlocked right outside your front door is entirely worth it. Who is God putting on your heart to invite first?
Here are 5 reflection questions designed to help you and your people process the information in this blog and take practical next steps:
1. Assessing the “Relationship Gap.”
When you think about the neighbors living closest to you, how wide is the “relationship gap”? Do you feel you have established enough trust with them to invite them into your home, or are you starting from scratch?
2. Making Neighbors Feel “Seen.”
The blog emphasizes making neighbors feel seen long before an invitation to church is extended. What are some practical, low-pressure ways you can make your neighbors feel noticed and valued during your normal weekly routine?
3. Overcoming the Hurdles
The three points of action are: Intentionality, Prayer, and Boldness. Which of these three points feels the most natural to you right now, and which one will require the greatest step of faith?
4. The Power of Your Living Room
How does shifting the focus from “inviting people to a church building” to “inviting people into your living room” change your perspective on outreach? What makes the home a uniquely “safe space” in our current cultural moment?
5. Taking the First Step
If you were to set a date and create an initial invite list today, who are the first 3 or 4 couples (or individuals) in your immediate neighborhood that God is putting on your heart to connect with?
Is your church a “hospital” for the hurting, a “classroom” for the curious, or a “greenhouse” for growth? Most churches strive to be all three, but often get stuck in the cycle of program management.
If you’ve taken the Disciple-Making Assessment, you now have a snapshot of your church’s DNA. But a score is just a number until it becomes a conversation that leads to action. Whether your results were mostly “Green” (On Mission) or “Red” (Off Mission), here are practical ways to move the needle in each of the seven core areas.
1. Convictional Leadership
Prioritizing people over programs.
To move from managing an organization to leading a movement, leadership must shift its “success metrics.”
The Tip: Audit your calendar. If your week is 90% meetings about logistics and 10% meetings with people you are personally discipling, flip the script.
Action Step: Start every leadership meeting by sharing a story of a life being changed through a personal relationship, rather than reviewing the budget first.
2. Obedience-Based, Reproducible Models
Teaching “how to obey” rather than “how to know.”
Information alone doesn’t transform; application does. If your methods are too complex, they won’t be copied.
The Tip: Use the “I Do, We Do, You Do” model. Don’t just give someone a book; show them how to study it, do it with them, and then watch them do it with someone else.
Action Step: In your small groups, ask: “What is one specific thing you will do this week in response to this Scripture?” and follow up on it the next time you meet.
3. Prayer and Scripture as Foundations
Relying on the Spirit over the strategy.
Strategy is helpful, but the Holy Spirit is essential. If your plans don’t require God to show up for them to succeed, you might be dreaming too small.
The Tip: Implement “Listening Prayer” in your leadership sessions. Instead of just praying for God to bless your plans, spend time in silence asking Him for His plans.
Action Step: Ensure Scripture is the “primary voice” in the room. Before making a major decision, ask: “Does this align with the Great Commission, or are we just doing what’s comfortable?”
4. Relational Community
Intentionality over “hanging out.”
Fellowship is the “glue,” but discipleship is the “engine.” Healthy communities are safe enough for confession but intentional enough for challenge.
The Tip: Foster a culture of “High Support, High Challenge.” Be the first to lead with vulnerability; when leaders share their struggles, it gives the congregation permission to be real.
Action Step: Train your small group leaders to identify “Potential Leaders” within their groups from day one, rather than waiting for someone to “feel ready.”
5. Clear Pathways and Expectations
Clarity leads to movement.
If a newcomer has to guess how to grow in your church, they probably won’t. Complexity is the enemy of multiplication.
The Tip: Simplify your “On-Ramp.” Can a 12-year-old explain how your church makes disciples? If not, your process might be too foggy.
Action Step: Draw your discipleship pathway on a napkin. If it takes more than three steps (e.g., Connect, Grow, Multiply), trim the fat.
6. Mission Beyond the Walls
Success is measured by who we “send,” not who “sits.”
A church that only focuses on its Sunday service is a “cul-de-sac” for the Gospel. We want to be a “highway.”
The Tip: Shift the focus to the Oikos (the 8 to 15 people with whom each member naturally interacts). Equip your people to see their workplace or neighborhood as their primary mission field.
Action Step: Once a month, replace a standard “in-house” event with a “go-out” initiative where groups serve their local community together.
7. Leadership Alignment
Every department moving toward one goal.
If the youth ministry is doing one thing and the worship team is doing another, you’ll have a “silo” culture that drains energy.
The Tip: Create a “Unified Win.” Every department head should be able to answer how their specific area contributes to making reproducing disciples.
Action Step: Create a leadership pipeline. Identify people at the “Entry Level” (helpers), “Mid-Level” (leaders), and “Top Level” (coaches), and ensure everyone has a mentor.
“What is foggy in your head is confusing on a napkin. Clarity leads to movement.”
The goal of this assessment isn’t perfection—it’s reproduction. Pick one area today, gather your team, and decide on one “next step” you can realistically take this month.
How did your church score in the assessment, and which of these seven areas do you feel most compelled to focus on first?
Have you taken the Disciple-Making Assessment?
I recently picked up a book titled “7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches”. It is a fascinating read—one of the few I’ve found that digs into the traits of North American churches that are quietly adopting the powerful principles used by global disciple-making movements. Unlike the high-profile mega-churches that usually dominate our newsfeeds, these networks often fly under the radar, focusing more on depth than on the spotlight.
Are you ready to see where you stand? I’ve created an assessment to guide you and your team through the process to spark crucial conversations.
CLICK HERE to assess the Disciple-Making culture in your church!
Let’s move together from just managing crowds to truly multiplying the Kingdom. I’d love to hear what you discover as you walk through this with your team!
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