I chose the seventh station of the cross to look at during this fifth week of Lent. This is the moment in Jesus’ journey where he falls for the second time. Despite help from Simon of Cyrene, despite the presence of his mother, and despite the compassion shown by the stranger, Veronica, Jesus’ strength, both mentally and physically, was beginning to falter.
Though it may not seem unique, there is a difference between Jesus’s first fall (which we examined a few weeks ago), and his second. Most of us, especially in leadership positions, have become adept at overcoming frequent difficulties. We expect obstacles and setbacks in our work; in fact, they feel familiar. We’ve learned to cope with normal difficulties and disappointments in our lives.
However, there are moments where we are pushed past what we cope with. Life-altering changes like the death of a loved one, the separation from a partner, the loss of a job, are not merely obstacles to overcome–they are seasons of life. They can feel like a long trudge up a slippery hill, where we feel like we are sliding backwards more than pushing forward. There will be moments we believe we can’t go on, maybe even weeks or months of waking up feeling like it’s impossible to keep fighting. It is in these moments we can resonate most with Jesus’ second fall and the perseverance that our Savior had to keep on going.
More work needs to be done in the area of crisis prevention. Imagine if we could impact a critical dilemma in our society, like divorce. Roughly 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce; sadly, that statistic is about the same within the church. With all the energy that goes into recovery ministries like Celebrate Recovery (addictive behavior is a major player behind the disintegration of marriage), divorce statistics have remained about the same over the last several decades. What if churches began to work more on the preventive end? What if more and more energy were focused on new and creative solutions to address the high percentage of marriages that end in divorce? If the church continues to do the same thing, expecting different results, the church must realize change is necessary.
One ancient-future suggestion is to help Jesus followers do the deep work of following Jesus before a crisis develops. The deep work of following Jesus is a lot like dealing with the root issues of a plant. This might require a larger pot, or watering it less frequently, or using a different fertilizer to enrich the soil (I once over-fertilized a beautiful Strawberry Tree that I literally burned from the inside out). The cause isn’t always immediately clear, and the solution isn’t always a quick fix.
Over the last four blogs I’ve gradually introduced various ideas and resources to integrate spiritually formative activities into your life. Below is an example of a few of the spiritual disciplines that have been handed down through the ages:
Here are some main disciplines of abstinence helpful to Christ-followers over the centuries as offered by Dallas Willard. This Spiritual Disciplines List features some main disciplines for life in Christ with concise definitions for each. You will notice disciplines of abstinence here and next blog, disciplines of engagement.
Disciplines of Abstinence (Self-Denial)
These are ways of denying ourselves something we want or need in order to make space to focus on and connect with God.
Solitude: Refraining from interacting with other people in order to be alone with God and be found by him. (Solitude is completed by silence.)
Silence: Not speaking in a quiet place in order to quiet our whole self and attend to God’s presence. Also, not speaking so that we can listen to others and bless them.
Fasting: Going without food (or something else like media) for a period of intensive prayer — the fast may be complete or partial.
Sabbath: Doing no work to rest in God’s person and provision; praying and playing with God and others. (God designed this for one day a week. We can practice it for shorter periods too.)
Secrecy: Not making our good deeds or qualities known to let God or others receive attention and to find our sufficiency in God alone (e.g., see Matthew 6).
Submission: Not asserting ourselves in order to come under the authority, wisdom, and power of Jesus Christ as our Lord, King, and Master. (If you think of this as submitting to a person as unto Christ, that is a discipline of engagement.)
Which disciplines do you already have experience with?
Which disciplines are you curious about?
Which disciplines would you like to try-out?
To develop the ability to discern God’s voice in your life you must exercise your discernment muscle much like you must exercise your physical muscles. And just like having a buddy when you exercise, having a spiritual director or a wise companion to come alongside you is beneficial. Take a moment right now and think who might be a good companion for you during this season.
Demonstrating perseverance means that, despite being pushed down again and again, we are choosing each time to get back up. It’s hard work, and nearly impossible to do without a deep, meaningful drive. Jesus knew that our eternal souls relied on his choice to get back on his feet. He knew it was his mission to endure this pain and humiliation, and to sacrifice himself for us. That was his drive.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Philippians 3:12-14)
I’ll close with a quote from Theophan the Recluse (1815-1894):
“When you retreat into yourself, you should stand before the Lord and remain in His presence, not letting the eyes of the mind turn away from the Lord. This is the true wilderness —to stand face to face with the Lord.”
Questions for reflection:
Think back to the most difficult times in your life:
What led to this situation?
How did you feel in the midst of it?
Where did you feel God in these times?
Where did you struggle spiritually?
What drove you to keep persevering through these difficult moments? (It may be the same drive, or several different ones.)
Arrived!
Our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials is now available for purchase on Amazon! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands! Please pick-up a copy, do the self study guide online, and consider participating in a Christian Coaching Essentials cohort.
We are now over halfway through Lent. Before jumping into the sixth station of the cross–our focus for this week–I want to check in.
Halfway CheckPoint:
Has your experience of Lent this year been what you expected?
How has Lent been different this year in comparison to past years?
Have you found it easier or more difficult than past years?
What feelings or ideas have you found recurring as you’ve gone through the stations?
What are you hoping to gain from the final three weeks of Lent?
Discerning Resistance, Consolation, and Desolation in your spiritual formation
Lent is a solemn season. It is meant to give us the space and time for genuine reflection on our faith, ourselves and our relationships. Becoming aware of what is happening inside your soul at pivotal times throughout the day is the work of discernment. According to Larry Warner in Journey with Jesus,
Ignatius provided key insights for discernment for those who journey through the Exercises. He referred to this section as “rules for perceiving and knowing insome manner the different movements which are caused in the soul.”
Reflection can be painful; it can open our eyes to aspects of ourselves or our lives that we have been avoiding – points of resistance to the work of God in our lives. It can also be hopeful and beautiful as the quiet provides intentional time to be still, helps us make sense of the world around us, and reminds us of God’s love – moments of consolation where God is drawing near. And then those times where we feel isolated and alone – times that we’ve all experienced – are experiences of desolation.
What is missing?
When I reflect on my spiritual formation I find that it has been full of both rich and dry seasons. About 18 months ago I began studying, practicing and experiencing spiritual development in a cohort of doctoral students from Fuller Theological Seminary. I’ve shared bits and pieces from my journey during this Lenten blog series. One of the big discoveries I’ve had is that the pathways I was exposed to in my early spiritual formation were not sufficient.
Have you discovered that for yourself as well?
I think one thing the Protestant Reformation got wrong was throwing out the proverbial baby with the bathwater. Thus we–the evangelical stream of the Christian church–have been left wanting. As a result, some have reintroduced, revisited or reinvigorated various aspects of the ancient church into the current church context, such as symbols, creeds, liturgy, Lent (Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday) to provide anchors for our Faith. Embracing those practices have offered some encouragement, others a foundation, and still others frustration, or worse, ambivalence.
There is still more that Christians of the past have done that we can learn from. One major takeaway for me has been the language that people like Ignatius use. It gives me a way to articulate and identify with what is stirring in my soul. Paying attention to that stirring, and then discerning what the Lord is communicating to me, becomes more practical when I have language to articulate it.
The important point here is to remain open, curious and committed to learning with the aim of drawing closer to Jesus, engaging more in what it means to follow Him, and serving with greater clarity of what He wants to do in and through me. He gives the invitation to engage. What is your response?
Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus
The sixth station of the cross is where Veronica wipes the face of Jesus. If you are not familiar with this part of the story, as Jesus carries his cross towards his execution site, tormented by the crowd, a stranger steps into his path and wipes the blood and sweat from his face. She can’t do much more than this, but she does what she can to ease Jesus’ suffering.
The story of Veronica is not one that can be found in the Bible. Like many of the Stations of the Cross, the story is based on legend and speculation along with what can be gathered from other historical texts. There have been accounts passed down through the ages that claim a stranger did offer Jesus this kindness. Whether or not this story is true, it is the truth we wish to see in ourselves. It is what we long to be able to do for Jesus while reflecting on the story of his journey toward death.
The Easter story is about Jesus’ compassion for all of us. He loved us so much that he took compassion on us, even in the midst of our sin, and sacrificed his own life. At this station, Veronica can represent us, Jesus’ people, reflecting the compassion that God has shown us since our creation. We can also reflect on how Jesus may have felt, the compassion, how it may have given him strength to keep going. We can all remember a time when a little compassion given to us at a difficult time felt like a lifeline to hope.
I’ll close with a quote from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.“
Questions for reflection:
Think about a time in your past when you were shown compassion and how it helped reinvigorate you.
Who in your life could use compassion right now?
What are some small ways you could show greater compassion this week?
Arrived! Our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials is now available for purchase on Amazon! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands! Please pick-up a copy, do the self study guide online, and consider participating in a Christian Coaching Essentials cohort.
*As we continue through this Lent season, we will be posting our blogs on Wednesdays at 5:30am instead of Mondays at 5:30am. Monday posting will resume after Lent.
On this third week of Lent, as we journey through the stations of the cross, we’re focusing on Jesus encountering his mother as he carries the cross. The moment where Jesus’ path crosses his mother’s is one of the most evocative moments of the Easter story. We feel the pain on both sides. We feel Mary’s pain as she watches her son endure something so horrific, knowing he was about to die. No parent should have to watch their child suffer. We feel Jesus’ pain in seeing his mother–the one who comforted him as a boy, kissed his skinned knees and wiped his tears away–knowing there was nothing she could do to help him.
A concept I’m learning in my own spiritual work is indifference. For Ignatius, indifference (or detachment) was for the purpose of spiritual freedom. According to Meister Eckhart (1260-1328), detachment:
“…enkindles the heart, awakens the spirit, stimulates our longings, and shows uswhere God is.”
We can imagine what Jesus might have felt as he saw his mother. Did he wish he could stop and talk with her? Or that they could comfort each other for just a moment? He knew he had to put all his energy into the formidable task he had been sent to do. So instead, Jesus chose indifference. He had to.
Aside from Jesus, Mary probably knew better than anyone else what her son was meant to do. From the moment of the Annunciation, when Gabriel came to tell Mary she would bear the son of God, she knew Jesus had a special mission…and she knew it would require sacrifice. In Luke chapter 2, just after Jesus is born, the prophet Simeon shares his vision of Jesus’s future with Mary:
34 Then Simeon blessed them, and he said to Mary, the baby’s mother, “This child is destined to cause many in Israel to fall, and many others to rise. He has been sent as a sign from God, but many will oppose him. 35 As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.”(Luke 2:34-35 (NLT))
The moment Jesus and Mary came face to face as Jesus carried His cross served as a parting of ways for the two of them. Both knew that God had a plan bigger than this pain, but they were also mother and son–deeply bonded, and in that moment, deeply agonized. Jesus had to choose indifference to complete the work He had come to do.
What does healthy indifference look like?
Reflecting on indifference, or as Ignatius (1491-1556) refers to it, “detachment”, Gerald May writes:
Detachment is the word used in spiritual traditions to describe freedom of desire. Not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire… An authentic spiritual understanding of detachment devalues neither desire nor the objects of desire. Instead, it “aims at correcting one’s own anxious grasping in order to free one’s self for committed relationship to God.”
Conversely, disordered attachments lead us down a very different path. We grasp at, overreach, and attempt to take control. In reality, you and I have no power or control over what happens in this world, no matter how we may try to convince ourselves we do!
What does indifference look like in your life?
A parting of the ways is something that we are often called to as Jesus followers. There will be moments where our response to an invitation from the Lord will require everything from us. While very few of us have been called to make a sacrifice as arduous as Jesus’, we all will be challenged to trust Him during difficult times. Counting the cost of following Jesus in life and ministry will, at some point, prove difficult.
Questions for reflection:
How do disordered attachments manifest themselves in your life or ministry?
What does healthy indifference look like in your life/ministry?
How are you practicing indifference in your life/ministry?
What invitation is Jesus offering you to practice indifference?
How are you doing at maintaining healthy indifference?
I’ll close with a quote from the mystic, Thomas Merton (1915-1968):
“We cannot see things in perspective until we cease to hug them to our own bosom.”
Now Available! Christian Coaching Essentials is NOW AVAILABLE! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and would love for you to give it a read!
Welcome to the second week of Lent and our series on the Easter story. This season is a great opportunity for reflection–to check in with yourself, your relationships, your work and your faith. Lent can be a powerful time of the year to slow down, focus on the health of your soul, and become more aware of the voice of the Holy Spirit in your life.
If you caught last week’s blog, I invited our readers to do one of three things:
Continue your spiritual rhythms as you have been so far this year
Reintroduce lapsed practices you have let lie dormant or make them a more regular part of your daily routine
Foster a new sense of curiosity you’ve been desiring by introducing new disciplines into your daily routine
We are following the Stations of the Cross, particularly the seven most relevant to our series. Last week, we examined how Jesus was forced to carry his own cross, and means of death, to the place of his execution. This is where he physically began the journey towards his purpose here on earth.
This week we’re examining when Jesus falls for the first time as he carries the heavy cross toward the site of his execution. This is a reminder to us of Jesus’s very physical limits. Jesus came to earth fully human, with the same capabilities as you and me. It must have been a humbling moment, full of pain and exhaustion for Jesus. It was his strong calling and perfect love that pushed Him to get up again.
I find comfort in the words of the psalmist: “But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone...” (Psalm 73:2 NLT )
In our own lives we face moments of “loose footing.” It’s rarely something as drastic as Jesus falling while walking towards his own death, but we all have hundreds of moments where we fail, suffer, and face all kinds of setbacks and obstacles. From a flat tire on our way to work to a life-altering event, we face difficulties we must overcome. In these moments, it can feel tempting to give up. The more challenging the situation is, the more we often want to escape–find any road that will get us away from where we are so we may find peace again. It is much harder to push on as Jesus did, yes it is necessary to accomplish what must be done. If you never pushed through moments of difficulty, think about where you would be now! And as you look ahead to difficulties on the horizon, knowing what you have overcome in the past, knowing what Jesus overcame, can give us the confidence to keep going. Jesus faced this ultimate hardship to show us that we all can get back up again.
Last week I shared my dark night of the soul journey from last year at this time. One lesson I learned, relearned, and took a remedial course on, was how to get back up when I stumbled. I experienced some very difficult emotional and spiritual challenges that led me down dark paths with seemingly no exit. It wasn’t until I began integrating new spiritual disciplines that I was able to navigate The Wall, which I describe as a “spiritual fog.”
I share these practices with you so that maybe you, too, can have added tools to help you navigate the inevitable “Wall” that we all experience from time to time.
Three practices to help you navigate difficult times:
Gratitude – start my day by writing out things for which I am grateful.
Centering Prayer (also called clearing prayer or meditation) – ask the Lord for a word and focus on that word only in order to clear my mind.
Intercessory prayer – ask the Lord what and whom to pray for and the best way to pray for them.
These new habits are helping me strengthen the spiritual muscles that keep me moving forward.
When reality is too painful
When times are tough we have choices to make. From my vantage point, when times are rough the typical evangelical church is not prepared to help people navigate those moments well. You have probably had times–or know someone who has– when you have experienced difficult moments and lacked the ability, strength or intuition to know what to do. Here are three reasons why we find ourselves in pain and do not often see a way forward.
Incompatibility: the current evangelical pathway of spiritual formation does not take into account The Wall (difficult, life-altering experiences)
Inability: leaders are not equipped to help others down a pathway (especially if they themselves have not journeyed this way before)
Avoidance: the intensity of the pain is so great that the solution seems unbearable (this can lead the individual believer to avoid The Wall altogether)
Because of the above, many people never reach the later stages of spiritual formation. This is a sad reality and one reason why, in my humble opinion, the church in the West has not matured spiritually. My encouragement to you is to press on (or should I say “stand up”) when you stumble. Do not take the easy way out! Do the hard work and “heavy lifting” required to pick yourself up when you are down.
Questions for reflection:
Where do you feel you have overcome obstacles before?
What helped you to push through those difficult moments?
What have you learned from your failures and difficulties?
How have your own obstacles helped you to become a better leader?
What obstacles are you facing today?
What is the result you are hoping for and why does it matter?
What do you need to do to set yourself up for a fruitful season during Lent?
I’ll close with a quote from Jeremiah 6:16 (NLT)
“Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Now Available to Preorder! Christian Coaching Essentials will be available in Kindle and paperback from Amazon on March 7, 2023! That’s only a week away! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands!
Welcome to the first week of Lent and the first part of our series on the Easter story.
This year, I have felt this season could be a helpful time to study the Stations of the Cross. What can we learn from Jesus as he takes the final steps in the journey towards his own calling?
This is a great opportunity for reflection–to check in with yourself, your relationships, your work and your faith. Lent can be a powerful time of the year to slow down, focus on the health of your soul, and become more aware of the voice of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Take a moment now to check in with yourself. How are you feeling as Lent begins? What are you hoping to gain throughout the coming seven weeks? How do you feel the Holy Spirit is guiding you?
This year, I invite you to do one of three things:
Continue your spiritual rhythms as you have been so far this year
Reintroduce lapsed practices you have let lie dormant or make them a more regular part of your daily routine
Foster a new sense of curiosity you’ve been desiring by introducing new disciplines into your daily routine
If you are looking for new disciplines, let me suggest two I’m especially fond of:
Lectio Devina – This might be a new way of reading and reflecting on scripture to start your day.
Prayer of Examen – I have incorporated a noontime Examen to “interrupt” my day, as well as an evening Examen, to lean into the rhythms of reflection and prayer.
Now, on to the focus of the first week of Lent.
Following the Stations of the Cross (we are focusing on the seven most relevant to our series), after Jesus is condemned to death by crucifixion He is forced to carry his own cross–and means of death–to the place of his execution. This is where he physically begins the journey towards his purpose here on earth:
Then Pilate turned Jesus over to them to be crucified.So they took Jesus away. Carrying the cross by himself, he went to the place called Place of the Skull (in Hebrew, Golgotha). John 19:16-17 (NLT)
Carrying a cross at the time of Pontius Pilate was meant to humiliate and torment those condemned to death. To us these many years later, it has come to mean something very different.
In Luke 9:23-24 Jesus said to the crowds following him, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it”.
Carrying a cross is symbolic of surrender and submission to our Lord. It is laying down what the world tells us is important and instead taking up the burden of our faith. Carrying our cross requires deep trust in our Lord, and, like Jesus’s trek toward the Place of the Skull, it can feel harrowing, overwhelming and even hopeless at times. However, we also know that Jesus did not carry it alone; Simon of Cyrene was made to carry his cross once Jesus’s body began to fail him.
Every human needs the help of others to bear our cross.
Last year at this time I was going through a difficult moment. The details of the journey I went through is worth sharing.
It’s hard to describe when you’re in a spiritual fog – it casts a dark shadow over everything. In spiritual direction they call this The Wall (read The Critical Journey by Hagberg and Guelich). I needed help. Specifically, I needed help picking up my cross and, under the weight of the burden, I needed to be willing to invite people to help me stand up and take the next step. In the beginning they were baby steps, and over time they became childlike steps, then adolescent steps…you get the idea. I needed to lean into the Spirit and the people already in my life. Some of these were people I didn’t know but needed to get to know, like wise men, a counselor and spiritual director. Through the loving support of my wife, family and friends, I find myself in a much different place this year. My encouragement comes from Simon of Cyrene who was made to carry his cross once Jesus’s body began to fail him.
I certainly can’t relate to the pain and agony Jesus felt under the burden of His cross – but He relates to you and me.
Five practices that will help you carry your cross:
Observe the Sabbath
Fasting
Prayer
Community
Mentors
Questions for reflection:
What does it mean to take up your cross in this season?
Where have you felt you needed help with your cross?
Who, what, or by what means have you found help?
What type of support do you need at this time?
Who do you know who might need help with their cross?
I’ll close with a quote from the mystic, Teresa of Ávila (1515-1582):
“We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.”
Coming Soon!
Our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials is currently at the printers! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands! Keep an eye out for its release in the next couple of weeks!
We use cookies to optimize our website and our service.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
