by Gary Reinecke | Aug 26, 2016 | Coach Training, Leader Development, Personal Development |
Several years ago my family traveled from Phoenix, AZ to camp at “Big Basin”, which is in the Redwoods of Northern Cal. To take advantage of the time in the van my wife and I decided to listen to Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence on CD. We discussed the case studies with our then 8 and 10-year old, who were very curious about the topic.
The thing I remember from that research and others since, is that EQ is flexible and can be developed, in contrast to IQ. In fact, I’ve witnessed how EQ can be developed personally, with my kids and leaders I coach – over and over again.
Recently, I came across a simple framework for EQ that I want to pass-on. In their book entitled, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves (p.24), they discovered four skills that comprise EQ, as illustrated above:
The top two skills, self-awareness and self-management, are more about you. The two bottom skills, social awareness and relationship management, are more about how you are with other people.
EQ is a powerful force. EQ can be developed, like a muscle – over time. Here are three questions to help you harness your EQ:
- Identify one skill from the illustration above that you will work on this week?
- What will you do to develop that skill and when?
- How will you assess your progress?
With intention, action and review, EQ can be developed. If you would like more information, click on Emotional Intelligence. Then scroll down the page and expand the menu of resources.
by Gary Reinecke | Aug 22, 2016 | Church Multiplication, Coach Training, Leader Development |
A couple of weeks ago I was speaking to a church planting leader.
He asked my opinion on the best way to develop a church planter. I suggested that he first take a look at the essential skills a planter needs to plant a church. Then I asked him what that training process would look like. His response did not surprise me…
- Just-in-time training is the best way to equip a church planter because the learning loop is short.
- The ideal context he told me, would be the church where the planter is already engaged.
- And finally, although some classroom instruction would be helpful, having a coach was paramount.
I affirmed his insights and then asked him if he would be interested in seeing a pathway to apprentice a church planter, highlighting best practices others have gleaned from their experience. His eyes lit up, suggesting that he would be very interested. That’s when I told him about the Church Planter Pathway Storyboard.
The beauty of the Church Planter Pathway Storyboard is that a coach can use this to apprentice a prospective planter using a one page format (called the One Page Coach) but is not bound to a particular model. Four developmental phases illustrate the ongoing process a church planter must visit and revisit, again and again, until a high degree of confidence has been demonstrated in the various skills needed. Because this is a competency-based process the planter-in-training does not “graduate” until competency has been achieved vs. completing a course or working through a set curriculum.
See if the Church Planter Pathway Storyboard touches on the most critical areas of developing a church planter based on your experience.
by Gary Reinecke | Jul 15, 2016 | Church Growth, Church Multiplication, Coach Training, Disciplemaking, Focused Ministry, Leader Development |
VUCA is gaining traction in the coaching world and certainly has application to the world of coaching church planters, pastors and network leaders. The notion of VUCA was introduced by the U.S. Army War College to describe the more Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambigious multilateral world which resulted from the end of the Cold War.
The best VUCA leaders are characterized by change-agent skills, a clearly defined change process and an intimate understanding of how to manage change.
The dynamics of change individually and corporately can be complex but with care, the process can be managed in a positive manner.
As a family we are preparing for our oldest to leave home and attend university this fall. This will be our first. If you have gone through this, perhaps you can relate – we are riding a steep learning curve. We, Gina and I, are learning to be very intentional to make sure our son is anticipating the benefits and challenges for his new found freedom. At the same time, managing the emotions on the home front.
Healthy small groups experience this dynamic when they release leaders to start-up new groups. We are going through these growing pains right now as our small group is sending off 50% of our group to join our church’s first new church plant. Our response – to celebrate the work of God in our community, have a party for the missionaries that we are sending-off and prepare for the next one.
Churches that plant churches experience similar emotional responses when they release their first daughter church. Churches that get through this first pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby become more adapt at future births. But the same emotional responses occur to varying degrees: denial, anger, bargaining, depression testing and acceptance.
One resource that I use in coaching leaders in managing change is the Change Management Skill Builder. This resource offers a brief yet concise understanding the way change works with a simple 6-step response:
- Involve
- Inform
- Initiate
- Implement
- Review.
See if the Change Management Skill Builder helps you sharpen your Change Management Skills.
by Gary Reinecke | Jun 5, 2016 | Coach Training, Leader Development |
Most days I start my morning with breakfast on the patio. We live in an unusual location in So Cal. Unusual in that we have an unobstructed view of a hill vs. a neighbor peering over our backyard. If you have been to this part of the world you appreciate how special this “open space” is compared to other parts of the country. I enjoy getting out before the sun rises to drink-in the cool, morning breeze and reflect on the day ahead.
I’ve been asked by a couple of people lately who have wondered about the self-care/”soul-care” of a coach. This first came out in India while training leaders in the coaching process who were learning how to catalyze disciple-making movements. A young woman asked me: “What do you do to take care of yourself?” At first, I reflected that I’m not sure I do a good job at this. I’m like most people who stay busy. Slowing down is a discipline that I’ve yet to master. But then I thought a bit more and this is what I discovered about myself.
Most mornings over the last 25+ years I’ve gotten my body out the door to exercise e.g. go to the gym, run, mountain-bike, swim or walk. The majority of those times were on my own except when I ran with the trails with buddies in Phoenix, mountain-bike with my wife or more recently, enjoy a Friday morning walk with my two brothers. During that early morning routine the Lord settles my soul for the day ahead. I listen to the Holy Spirit, discern his leading on various topics He brings to my attention and prepare my soul for the day ahead. Periodically I journal and take a more structured approach but the physical outlet of exercise has been my mainstay.
Listening and discerning what the Holy Spirit is saying, is the most critical skill in coaching (in the research I conducted with Bob Logan & Chuck Ridley we call it “Abiding in Christ” – see Developing Coaching Excellence). In fact, you can do the other eight competencies of coaching and be a very good coach; but you will never be a world-class coach without mastering this skill, based on my experience assessing and training coaches.
The challenge for you is to discover the best practice given your personality. For me, integrating physical activity and listening to God works. But for you, it may be a quiet corner at the local Starbucks. And others, it might be in the midst of serving the poor and disenfranchised. Enjoying nature is another God-given conduit to connect with Him.
What practices work for you?
I invite your feedback and would love to hear your thoughts below.
by Gary Reinecke | May 27, 2016 | Coach Training, Uncategorized |
Coaching demands humility. When you as the coach, humble yourself and are willing to lay aside your agenda for the sake of others e.g for a God-honoring endeavor like disciplemaking and leader-development – amazing things happen. That is the “magic” of coaching!
by Gary Reinecke | May 18, 2016 | Coach Training, Leader Development, Personal Development |
In 2005 I took a sabbatical. To prepare, I asked a colleague to coach me to take advantage of the opportunity. What I gained from that experience stays with me to this day.
One of the most important learnings I have from that experience is the value of being coached as you coach others. I need to be reminded every 30 days, what if feels like to be on the receiving end of a coaching conversation. Responsibility to set the agenda, anticipation for the appointment and the satisfaction when I realize that our time was well-spent, focusing on the important and not urgent areas of life/ministry.
When I was in Delhi, India recently I met a young Indian by the name of Mushek. He is launching a coaching business called Lead Well with the unique strategy to serve others who seek to do Business as Mission (BAM). That evening he asked me about my vision, where I am headed and how to get there. He coached me!
It was humbling to sit in the seat of the “person being coached” – but worth it! It was refreshing to share my vision and to have someone listen. And to leave with a fresh perspective and actions to take.
Most times I meet with my coach I leave with clarity of vision, practical steps to implement and a new perspective on my situation. Then I’m better able to coach others because I can empathize with them as they sit in my seat. What are the benefits you experience as you are on the receiving end of a coaching relationship?
