by Gary Reinecke | Feb 20, 2023 | Uncategorized |
Welcome to the first week of Lent and the first part of our series on the Easter story.
This year, I have felt this season could be a helpful time to study the Stations of the Cross. What can we learn from Jesus as he takes the final steps in the journey towards his own calling?
This is a great opportunity for reflection–to check in with yourself, your relationships, your work and your faith. Lent can be a powerful time of the year to slow down, focus on the health of your soul, and become more aware of the voice of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Take a moment now to check in with yourself. How are you feeling as Lent begins? What are you hoping to gain throughout the coming seven weeks? How do you feel the Holy Spirit is guiding you?
This year, I invite you to do one of three things:
- Continue your spiritual rhythms as you have been so far this year
- Reintroduce lapsed practices you have let lie dormant or make them a more regular part of your daily routine
- Foster a new sense of curiosity you’ve been desiring by introducing new disciplines into your daily routine
If you are looking for new disciplines, let me suggest two I’m especially fond of:
- Lectio Devina – This might be a new way of reading and reflecting on scripture to start your day.
- Prayer of Examen – I have incorporated a noontime Examen to “interrupt” my day, as well as an evening Examen, to lean into the rhythms of reflection and prayer.
Now, on to the focus of the first week of Lent.
Following the Stations of the Cross (we are focusing on the seven most relevant to our series), after Jesus is condemned to death by crucifixion He is forced to carry his own cross–and means of death–to the place of his execution. This is where he physically begins the journey towards his purpose here on earth:
Then Pilate turned Jesus over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus away. Carrying the cross by himself, he went to the place called Place of the Skull (in Hebrew, Golgotha). John 19:16-17 (NLT)
Carrying a cross at the time of Pontius Pilate was meant to humiliate and torment those condemned to death. To us these many years later, it has come to mean something very different.
In Luke 9:23-24 Jesus said to the crowds following him, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it”.
Carrying a cross is symbolic of surrender and submission to our Lord. It is laying down what the world tells us is important and instead taking up the burden of our faith. Carrying our cross requires deep trust in our Lord, and, like Jesus’s trek toward the Place of the Skull, it can feel harrowing, overwhelming and even hopeless at times. However, we also know that Jesus did not carry it alone; Simon of Cyrene was made to carry his cross once Jesus’s body began to fail him.
Every human needs the help of others to bear our cross.
Last year at this time I was going through a difficult moment. The details of the journey I went through is worth sharing.
It’s hard to describe when you’re in a spiritual fog – it casts a dark shadow over everything. In spiritual direction they call this The Wall (read The Critical Journey by Hagberg and Guelich). I needed help. Specifically, I needed help picking up my cross and, under the weight of the burden, I needed to be willing to invite people to help me stand up and take the next step. In the beginning they were baby steps, and over time they became childlike steps, then adolescent steps…you get the idea. I needed to lean into the Spirit and the people already in my life. Some of these were people I didn’t know but needed to get to know, like wise men, a counselor and spiritual director. Through the loving support of my wife, family and friends, I find myself in a much different place this year. My encouragement comes from Simon of Cyrene who was made to carry his cross once Jesus’s body began to fail him.
I certainly can’t relate to the pain and agony Jesus felt under the burden of His cross – but He relates to you and me.
Five practices that will help you carry your cross:
- Observe the Sabbath
- Fasting
- Prayer
- Community
- Mentors
Questions for reflection:
- What does it mean to take up your cross in this season?
- Where have you felt you needed help with your cross?
- Who, what, or by what means have you found help?
- What type of support do you need at this time?
- Who do you know who might need help with their cross?
I’ll close with a quote from the mystic, Teresa of Ávila (1515-1582):
“We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.”
Coming Soon!
Our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials is currently at the printers! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands! Keep an eye out for its release in the next couple of weeks!
Photo by Alicia Quan on Unsplash
by Gary Reinecke | Feb 13, 2023 | Uncategorized |
Once again, we find ourselves entering the season of Lent! This is a bittersweet season on the Christian calendar–and for some of us, a fairly new observance and that may feel unfamiliar. Growing up, I was aware of Lent with Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday being the primary focus. (I wonder how some brothers and sisters within the Protestant camp view Lent–e.g., as a primarily Catholic tradition–though I realize a large percentage of Protestants have observed Lent over the centuries). When I first graduated seminary and served on a mainline church staff I was introduced to a liturgical expression of the Lenten season. Then, when my wife Gina (who has a charismatic, Anglican background) and I married, we took a more intentional approach to fasting, prayer and learning more about how other Christians around the world observe Lent.
I appreciate Lent. It offers you and I a chance to slow down and reflect, identifying what things need to be part of our lives and how to remove obstacles to give more space to our spirituality. Lent can introduce new rhythms in our spiritual lives that can enhance our faith and the communities we serve. In my coaching and training with liturgical church leaders, my friends come from a wonderful depth of tradition that the evangelical church could and should learn from. There are many ways to embrace this season: some fast, taking the 40-day period as a solemn and serious retreat from ordinary life. More importantly, it’s an invitation to invite the Holy Spirit into your day-to-day life to intentionally reflect, grieve and rejoice in the story of Christianity.
Through the next seven weeks leading up to Easter, I will be using the classic stations of the cross. We will follow Jesus on his journey through death, highlighting the significant events that led to our salvation. This year I want to invite you to use this time not only to think about Jesus and His sacrifice, but also to discover what we can learn from Lent, specifically as leaders who multiply disciples, groups and churches. The season of Lent can breathe new life into your dry bones.
Questions for your reflection:
- What is your experience with Lent?
- What does Lent mean to you?
- How could you benefit from engaging with Jesus this Lenten season?
For me, the reasons to slow down are very personal. In the past I’ve had seasons when I’ve been willing to engage in Lent more fully than other seasons. It probably was the combination of stage of life, family rhythms, church orientation to Lent, etc. This year, I am in a different place. I find myself wanting and needing to slow down. Life has been busy. Gina and I are now fully in the “empty nest” season of life. After having both of our young adult children home through their final year of university, they are now truly living on their own.
Back in the fall of 2021 I began my journey with a cohort into spiritual formation and enlisted the services of a spiritual director. I didn’t know then how timely this would become. Gina and I are now part of a new church startup in our community, and 2023 is a different season altogether. The fruit of that spiritual journey has been invaluable, and the season of Lent is a great opportunity for me to delve deeply into reflection and communion with Jesus during the start of a new chapter of our lives.
Where do you find yourself? If you are like me, coming out of lockdown has presented many challenges. The isolation we experienced and the artificial nature of human interaction over the internet has taken a toll on us all–whether we’re aware of it or not. Upon returning to the airport for the first time pre-Covid, it felt oddly familiar yet also subtly different. Everyone acted as if nothing had changed, yet people are now hyper-aware of things like personal space and cleanliness. Minor things but notable.
This is my invitation for you to pause and reflect–not as a one-time act, but throughout the entire 46 days of Lent. Use these questions to help you prepare as we approach this special season:
- What would you like your focus to be during Lent?
- How will you engage?
- What is one area of your life that needs attention?
- What are you willing to give up to give this area the attention needed?
- Describe your intention throughout Lent to draw closer to Jesus.
I’ll close with a quote from the poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning:
Earth’s crammed with heaven
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes;
The rest sit around it and pluck blackberries.
Coming Soon!
Our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials is currently at the printers! This book is truly as titled—the essentials you need to learn to become a quality Christian Coach. It’s laid out to help you learn and includes bonus links to dozens of resources to help you get started. We are really excited about it and can’t wait to get the resource in your hands! Keep an eye out for its release in the next couple of weeks!
Photo by il vano on Unsplash
by Gary Reinecke | Feb 6, 2023 | Uncategorized |
One of the pitfalls of launching small groups after the corporate gathering is established is that the DNA of disciple making can become secondary rather than primary.
Over the last three decades, I have observed many church planters who, in their compulsion to “go public”, have found themselves relaunching two years later. I want to address this gently for those who are in the pre-planting process (commonly known as the prenatal phase) so as not to discourage anyone who has already launched.
If you have already launched public worship services, the reflection questions at the end of this blog might be of interest.
Can disciple making DNA be established after public services have been launched?
Absolutely! The reality is, though, that most new church planters invest so much time, energy, and resources into the public gathering that when it comes to creating disciple-making communities, their bandwidth for giving that same energy is severely diminished. Remember that old illustration of putting the big rocks in the vase first, then filling in the smaller rocks around them? That describes the tension church planters experience often.
Nearly every planter feels this tension, which then becomes intrinsic in the DNA of the congregation. To establish small groups with the purpose of making disciples, you will be asking people who have become accustomed to attending the public gathering to make a second commitment. For some, the corporate gathering is the extent of the commitment they are able to make. For others, the connectivity smaller gatherings provide is compelling enough. A healthy percentage of people who participate in public gatherings and who are engaged in small groups is 80 percent. This is a metric that defines a church of small groups as opposed to a church with small groups.
Let’s unpack this a bit more.
Why are planters compelled to start corporate gatherings first?
Three common drivers to launch a public gathering:
- Theological – planters are compelled by the mandate to make more and better disciples
- Internal pressure – the planter intrinsically senses the need to start public gatherings to justify their hard work (to make something happen)
- External pressure – from a funding partner, denominational supervisor, or the community, because that is their metric of success
Slow your roll
We often feel compelled to start with gathering corporately, but Jesus put his attention to orient, prepare and equip His disciples as he prepared to launch His public ministry. I imagine He anticipated and knew as soon as He performed His first miracle that word would spread quickly. This man from Galilee had a small gathering of apprentices who were following Him and spent time together to get to know Jesus and each other. During this time they were learning what it meant to follow Him. As they were becoming disciples they began making disciples. This is the motif I like to use for the process of church planting: beginning with the conception of a vision, leading to multiplication of disciples who make disciples. That is the backdrop for what follows.
To combat this drive to go public, in some cases prematurely, I like to challenge planters to “Slow your role!” Instead of giving into the internal and external pressure to go public, channel your energy to begin with the end in mind – make more and better disciples first. Once you have embedded that DNA into a 2nd and 3rd generation movement of disciple making, invite those groups to come together and experience the corporate gathering with a strong foundation of disciple making.
Benefits of starting with the end in mind:
- Making disciples takes time, and the time you give it at the very beginning will solidify that DNA into the life of the newest disciples
- It will give you a real sense of who God is already working in and who is most responsive to the gospel
- It will provide a fishing pool to recruit volunteers to launch public gatherings
- It will give you insight into who your future small group leaders and future church planters may be
- Service in the community you serve can become a value in the lives of small group participants as they discover their gifts
- Making disciples will shape the corporate gathering
Challenge the Status Quo
My view is that the way churches have been planted–with the idea of launching a corporate gathering as the primary means of making disciples–has attracted the low-hanging fruit. To get different results–mature disciples with a Kingdom vision to make disciples–different approaches have been tested, resulting in different results.
Imagine you are 3-6-9 months into your public gathering and you already are seeing people come to Christ. Now, consider the effort it has taken. Compare and contrast that to the amount of energy that you have invested to make disciples who reproduce.
Questions to consider:
- What are the irreducible minimums that you need to do to make more and better disciples?
- What are the essential environments required to accomplish these things?
- Who are the people you need now to move your vision forward?
- What kind of people will you need later to launch a public gathering?
- What are the essential next steps you must take to move your vision forward?
New Resources
Christian Coaching Essentials
We’re excited to announce the release of our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials!
In this book you will discover the power of a comprehensive Christian coaching process. With the purchase of the book you also gain access to a self-led online course and resources! More to be shared in the upcoming weeks leading up to the release of the book, Christian Coaching Essentials!
Photo by Nicolas Lobos on Unsplash
by Gary Reinecke | Jan 30, 2023 | Uncategorized |
This month we’ve been exploring ways to maintain our physical and emotional well-being in 2023. As we close out the month, we turn our focus to what it can look like to live out healthy habits around work rhythms through the art of delegating.
Our work rhythms become comfortable after a while. Even in the mundane day-to-day tasks that don’t necessarily bring us joy, it’s easy to live in the mindset of, “I’ll just do it. I can do it quicker.” But too often, that mindset leads to more stress and frustration. Why? Because we hold onto tasks that can be given to someone else (who may be able to do it better) in order to focus our attention on the things only we can do–move the vision and mission of our work forward.
The art of delegation requires some practice, but it’s an important element in keeping our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being in alignment. This applies to everyone–coaches, pastors and business owners all need to delegate some of their responsibilities in order to maintain healthy rhythms of life and not be overwhelmed by the tasks of every day.
If you’re finding that you don’t have the margin you need to move your vision forward, it’s time to explore how you can give away the tasks that are holding you back. I, too, have found myself in a situation where I needed to let certain responsibilities go so that I could move my coaching forward. Instead of building processes and delegating tasks, I had unintentionally allowed the tasks of the day to monopolize my time. Eventually, I found myself in a real bind. It left me near the end of my emotional bandwidth; I was tired, irritable and not enjoying life. Someone pointed the problem out to me and suggested I delegate some of my workload so I could concentrate on doing what only I could do. It was a simple suggestion that was more complicated to execute.
3 Considerations When Delegating Tasks That are Holding You Back
- Pruning – deciding what tasks others can do and then allowing them to take them on
- Releasing Control – delegating means you have to let go and empower others
- Grieving – you had a rhythm that worked for you; don’t be surprised when it’s hard to let that go
1. Pruning
Leaders don’t thrive when they are spread too thin, and the mission suffers for it. Warning signs include mental and emotional exhaustion and feeling spiritually dry. Readiness to prune is usually gauged by pain tolerance. When a leader hits a wall then she/he is probably ready to prune. Pruning away the tasks that are holding you back is the road to increased fruitfulness. Here is an exercise to assess what to prune. First, track how you spend your time and identify the top categories that are taking time. Second, ask the following questions:
- What can you delegate?
- What can you stop doing and no one would notice?
- What can you, and only you, do?
2. Releasing Control
There are a lot of motivations that influence a leader to want to control a situation or another person. The reality is that control is actually not an achievable goal. In very few circumstances can a leader control anything. Control is an illusion! And leaders who struggle with control are STRESSED.
Parents who hover over their kids. Bosses who micromanage employees. Husbands or wives who gaslight their spouse. Coaches who penalize their players unnecessarily. Leaders who over work their team members. Struggling to surrender control is an emotional symptom to a spiritual problem.
Steps to Surrender Control:
1. Awareness
Control often has a firm grip on you before you are even aware of it. There is no recovery from control without an awareness that it is a problem.
2. Forgiveness
Control is seeped in judgment and is often multifaceted, involving skewed views of yourself, of others, and even of God. To truly surrender control, it may be necessary to do an inventory of judgements you are holding onto and process through asking for, receiving, and maybe even extending forgiveness to relevant parties (including yourself).
3. Change
Control will continue holding you back unless you change your relationship with it. And change is never easy. It’s best to have a solid delegation plan in place and then contingency plans to help you when control threatens to surface again.
Questions to Help Leaders Surrender Control:
- What is causing your stress?
- How are you compounding your stress?
- What is a more desirable outcome?
- What new behaviors can you adopt?
- What are some things that you can do to make things right?
3. Grieving
Can you grieve the loss of tasks? Absolutely. Every single change involves loss. Changing habits means losing the comfort of a familiar rhythm. You established that rhythm because it met a need and worked for you for a time. But that rhythm is now holding you back and needs to be changed. Delegating means letting go of processes that served you well and entrusting them to others. It means changing your relationship with processes and with people. That’s a lot of change that requires letting go of what has become comfortable and maybe even important to you. It is almost impossible to move on without processing through these losses.
Processing What is Lost
If you want delegation to stick, it is important to acknowledge your loss. Here are some questions to help:
- Which tasks or processes are you feeling uncomfortable delegating?
- In addition to the task, what else are you giving up by delegating it?
- How has that rhythm served you well in the past?
- In what ways is that rhythm holding you back from accomplishing your goals?
- How is passing on this task helping in the development of others?
What I’d love for you to take away from this is that delegating is necessary for strong physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It took me some time but once I started giving away tasks to others, I found myself in a much better place. Bottom line – I became more productive doing the things that only I can do, am gifted at, and enjoy doing.
New Resources
Christian Coaching Essentials
We’re excited to announce the release of our latest book, Christian Coaching Essentials!
In this book you will discover the power of a comprehensive Christian coaching process. With the purchase of the book you also gain access to a self-led online course and resources! More to be shared in the upcoming weeks leading up to the release of the book, Christian Coaching Essentials!
This blog was adapted from “Drop The Tasks That Are Holding You Back“
https://christiancoachingtools.com/articles/drop-the-tasks-that-are-holding-you-back/
January 11, 2023
Photo by Headway on Unsplash
by Gary Reinecke | Jan 23, 2023 | Uncategorized |
Today marks the final blog in our series on establishing and maintaining well-being as we enter the new year. The last two weeks we explored physical and emotional health; today we dive into our spiritual well-being. Of all the areas of personal well-being, our spiritual health can be the most difficult to understand and maintain. There are clear signs we are struggling with our physical and emotional health: our weight goes up, our depression and anxiety kick in, our body tells us when something is off. Spiritual signs of struggle, however, can be harder to detect.
Struggles with Spirituality
As Christians it is common to face struggles with faith. Our spirituality goes through phases, often aligning with the phases of our lives. During difficult times we may go through a period of anger towards God, or doubt our faith. When the world feels overwhelming and dark, we may feel hopeless in our spirits. Most often, we simply feel out of step and distant as we get caught up in our day-to-day lives, or like we have come up against a wall, unsure how to move forward in our faith.
Here are some common causes of spiritual struggles:
- Death or pain of a loved one
- Health, financial, or relationship issues
- Major life changes
- Feeling bored by life’s routines
- Feeling overwhelmed or too busy
- Comparing our spiritual journey with others
- Depression and anxiety
These moments are all difficult, and it is normal–even necessary–for our faith to be challenged by life’s trials. These difficulties provide us opportunities to grow closer to God and become aware of how the Holy Spirit works through us and around us.
Here are some ways to reinvigorate your spiritual health:
- Make time daily for quiet reflection
- Read and meditate on Scripture
- Read new books, listen to podcasts or watch movies that will prompt new spiritual questions and probe your thinking
- Join a small group
- Make intentional time to help those around you
- Find a spiritual director to talk through your struggles
- Confide in friends, family, and most importantly, the Lord
One of the best decisions I made in 2021 was to find a spiritual director to help me process the issues of the day. I did this through 2022 and now, in 2023, I am engaging in the Ignatian Exercises, meeting weekly with my spiritual director to process issues that the Lord has brought to my attention. The encouragement I want to give to you about your spiritual development is this: begin where you are!
I am a big advocate for the Stop-Challenge-Choose tool, a very simple tool that was introduced by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen, Co-Founder of OptaVia. Stop-Challenge-Choose allows us to reflect on specific actions and habits in our lives and consider how we can adapt for the better.
STOP: What do you need to stop doing?
CHALLENGE: What specific actions can you take to achieve different results?
CHOOSE: What new behavior, technique, or mindset changes will you adopt immediately?
Used with permission from Dr. A’s Habits of Health (pgs.133-137) by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
It is important to remember that well-being is holistic; all areas of health affect all other areas of health. If your mental health is suffering and you are feeling depressed or anxious, those feelings can distract and distance us from the Lord and impact our spiritual well-being. Likewise, if you are in poor physical health, it can have a significant impact on your mental health. Taking care of yourself is a way to honor the Lord.
Reflection Questions:
- Which moments have been difficult for your faith in this last year?
- Who or what helped you through these moments?
- When were the moments you felt closest to God this year?
- What sparked these moments?
- What is your spiritual routine (prayer? Readings? Reflections?)
- What action can you take to grow spiritually this upcoming year?
Photo by Aaron Owens on Unsplash
by Gary Reinecke | Jan 16, 2023 | Uncategorized |
Today we turn toward emotional health in our series on establishing and maintaining health in the near year. Last week, we looked at the importance of our physical health and maintaining our physical well-being. Now, we turn inward.
The last few years have been hard. Pandemics, politics, isolation, anxiety, depression, global crises. Many of us are still feeling some damage to our mental health, and the outcome can be felt in just about every area of our lives.
Here are some common signs that your mental health is not at its best:
- Loss of sleep – Whether you have trouble falling asleep, waking in the night or waking too early, losing sleep is one of the most common signs of depression and anxiety.
- Lack of motivation – You are less productive, have trouble concentrating and are reluctant to begin or finish tasks you know you need to do.
- Irritation – You are more irritable with the people around you. Things that wouldn’t ordinarily have bothered you are now frustrating you, maybe even in the form of outbursts or snapping at others.
- Loss of joy – things that once made you happy, like time with friends or a peaceful walk, no longer bring you joy.
- Low energy – You are often tired and feel sluggish.
- Change in appetite/weight – You are eating more or less than normal and gaining or losing weight in a short amount of time.
- Withdrawing – You don’t want to see friends, you don’t want to talk to your family, you have trouble asking for help.
Last year at this same time, I shared one of my favorite quotes on mental health along with these three observations:
“Mismanaged emotions not only determine whether you will become sick but also whether you will be happy, fulfilled, and successful in your life”
Hopelessness And Progression Of Heart Disease, Arteriosclerosis Thrombosis Vascular Biology
Everson, S A. Kaplan, G A. Goldberg. D E. Salon,R. 17, (8) pages 1490-1495.
Three Observations on Mental Agility
- What the authors of the above quote are not saying: if you manage your emotions well you will live a healthy, happy, fulfilling and successful life. We all know people who do all the right things to manage their emotional health yet suffer the cruelest complexities of life. Yet there are things within our control that, if managed well, can mitigate the side effects that lead to some physical ailments. The things that are outside of our control–like DNA, pre-existing conditions, or certain pre-dispositions–we have to navigate as they come.
- Happiness is not the same as joyfulness! Happiness is a temporary state. Joy comes from the ongoing, internal work of the Holy Spirit. You might not be happy at the moment–in fact, you might be suffering, grieving or feeling downright ornery–but you can maintain your joy in the experiential knowledge that God is always at work, knowing He can sustain you through the most difficult life and ministry challenges.
- Fulfillment and success are not the best gauge of well-managed emotions! Most–if not all–leaders who have led their churches well through difficult times have at some point questioned their judgment. This has led some leaders to new heights and others to greater depths than they have known before. Leading in this season is a wild roller coaster ride and not for the faint of heart.
Boosting Mental Health
Because mental well-being is so intrinsically linked to both physical and spiritual health, one way to boost mental health is to make sure you are caring for your body and soul well. If you take a look at the common symptoms above, you can see that many are related to physical health (low energy, appetite and weight changes, loss of sleep). Mental health is also connected to your spiritual health. Connecting with a deeper meaning can reinvigorate joy and motivation.
Here are some ways that you might boost your mental health:
- Exercise – Cardio is proven to lessen depression and anxiety. Working out actually gives us more energy and helps us regulate our sleep.
- Eating well – trade the chips and ice cream for veggies and hummus (or another healthy snack that you enjoy). Make sure you are getting proper nutrition- it will give you energy and help you focus!
- Prayer and reflection – taking quiet time to talk to God and share your feelings can be a great release and give you time to think about the underlying reasons for how you’re feeling.
- Talk to friends and family – share how you are feeling and why. It will help those around you be patient and compassionate.
- Ask for help – finding a counselor to help you explore and resolve some feelings can help immensely. They can provide wisdom and a perspective that we cannot see for ourselves.
7 questions to help you grow your mental agility
- What insights about your mental agility can you glean as you have led over the past 12 months?
- How can you consolidate those into new behaviors to manage your emotions?
- Reflect on a real situation and consider how you can apply that learning in real-time?
- What difference will it make if you do this well?
- Is the benefit worth the effort?
- What will you do to move the learning from a theory to a practice?
- After you have taken a step of action, what new insight(s) do you have?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
