Have you ever faced a situation where you needed to deliver tough feedback?  

• What did you say?  
• How was it received?  
• What lessons did you take away?  

These are valuable questions to reflect on with yourself or a trusted colleague.  

Recently, I found myself in a sensitive discussion with a coach trainee. As I got ready to review his coach assessment report, I found it challenging because the profile was significantly low. In my experience, this was the lowest profile I had ever seen. So, I had to think about how to approach the conversation as it was coming up. In your ministry, you might face a tough issue that you need to discuss with a leader. While the context may differ, the necessity to prepare and process thoughtfully remains the same.  

Define the Objective  

It’s crucial to clearly state the goal of the conversation. For example, I wanted to ensure we were on the same page, so I said, “We will review his assessment and the feedback from those he coached to help him pinpoint areas for growth.” Keep it straightforward and uncomplicated.  

It’s also beneficial to remind everyone that we all have areas for improvement. The aim is to continually enhance our skills – to keep getting better!  

Emphasize the Positives  

At first, I recognized the reality of his profile and pointed out that there are positive aspects we can glean from his report.  

Before diving into the negatives, I focused on the positive elements from his report. It’s easy to overlook the good contributions the leader made to coaching and get caught up in the negatives. This is crucial when entering a challenging conversation.  

Pose Questions  

Ask plenty of questions. However, ensure that your questions are purposeful and significant. You’re not just asking questions for the sake of it.  

The more you can center the discussion on their reflections of the positives, the better.

Pause

Let the discussion come to a natural halt before proceeding.  It’s simple to do, but you might feel tempted to rush the conversation.  Once you bring up the negatives, it’s hard to revert because the attention will inevitably shift back to the negative aspects.  It’s interesting how that happens, but it becomes quite challenging to return to the positive once the negative has been revealed.

Reiterate the Goal

It’s crucial to emphasize this before diving into the more significant details.  Keep the spotlight on the leader.  Make this entirely about them.

Have you personally experienced either receiving or delivering difficult feedback?  What strategies or suggestions would you add to this list?  What did you discover worked, and what could be changed?

Check out these resources to discover strategies for handling tough conversations!

Managing Poor Performance Storyboard

CLICK HERE

Managing Poor Performance: Coaching Guide with Storyboard

CLICK HERE

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash