The question of spiritual maturity can feel daunting. We often default to measuring outward behaviors, creating checklists of “good Christian” actions. But true spiritual formation, the ongoing deepening of our relationship with Jesus, is a far more nuanced and internal process. It’s less about ticking boxes, and more about a quiet transformation of the heart.
Think of Jesus’ own journey: from boyhood to adult, ministry maturing, culminating in the profound shift of his final weeks. This wasn’t just a change in outward activity, but a deep inner reshaping. Throughout history, mystics and theologians—from Teresa of Avila with “The Four Waters” and “The Interior Castle” motifs, St. John of the Cross’ stages of spiritual development to contemporary thinkers like Ruth Haley Barton and Dallas Willard—have attempted to articulate this often-ineffable process. They offer glimpses into the spiritual shifts that occur as we grow in Christ.
One helpful lens for understanding this growth is the movement from a more expressive to a more contemplative spirituality. It’s important to emphasize that neither is “better” or a definitive marker of maturity. They are simply different facets of a deepening relationship with God. The journey isn’t linear, and we may experience both aspects at different times.
Expressive Spirituality: This is the vibrant outpouring of faith. It’s the joy that bursts into song, the awe that lifts hands in worship, the grief that cries out in lament. It’s often communal, fueled by shared emotion and outward action. Many churches excel in fostering this expressive dimension, creating spaces for passionate worship and vibrant fellowship.
Contemplative Spirituality: This is the quiet work of inner transformation. It’s the still, small voice that whispers in the silence, the yearning for deeper connection that drives us to prayer and reflection. It’s the process of surrendering our will, letting go of ego, and cultivating virtues like humility and compassion. It’s not about withdrawing from the world, but about deepening our connection with God so that our outward actions flow from a place of inner peace and love.
The Shift: As we mature spiritually, we often see a natural movement towards a more contemplative approach. This doesn’t mean abandoning the joy and passion of expressive worship. Instead, it means that our outward expressions become rooted in a deeper, more profound inner life. It’s like the difference between a fire that blazes brightly and a steady, glowing ember that warms from within.
How to make the shifts to a more Contemplative Spirituality:
The paths to a more contemplative spirituality are unlimited. But there are three themes that I have experienced, observed, and learned from the pioneers that have gone before us. They are not principles but tend to be common traits of contemplatives.
- Person
Someone who you have a relationship with who is an effective listener to hear your insights about your formation, a spiritual friend, or spiritual director.
- Place
A sacred place, a park, or retreat center where you are far from distraction so that you can hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.
- People
Doing life in community with others moving in a similar direction where you can join in the daily rhythms of work, play, and spiritual practices.
Nurturing Your Contemplative Side:
There’s no single path to contemplative spirituality, but three common themes often emerge:
- Person: Having a trusted companion – a spiritual friend, mentor, or director – who listens deeply and reflects back your own insights about your spiritual formation.
- Place: Finding a sacred space, whether it’s a quiet park, a peaceful retreat center, monastery, or even a corner in your home, where you can minimize distractions and listen for the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.
- People: Connecting with others on a similar journey, sharing life in community, and participating in the rhythms of work, play, and spiritual practices together.
Are You Drawn to Contemplative Spirituality?
The following questions are designed to help you discern if you’re experiencing this shift. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. This is simply a tool for self-reflection. Use the scale from 1 (None) to 5 (Always) to rate yourself.
- How engaged are you in a relationship with a listener, spiritual friend or, under direction?
- How excited do you feel about a personal spiritual retreat?
- How regularly do you connect with others who are on the journey with you?
(Add up all the column scores and divide by 3) AGGREGATE SCORE
A higher score may suggest a leaning towards contemplative spirituality. However, this is just one piece of the puzzle. Spiritual maturity isn’t about achieving a certain score or fitting into a specific category. It’s about the ongoing journey of surrendering to God’s love and allowing Him to transform us from the inside out. It’s about embracing both the expressive and contemplative dimensions of faith, allowing them to inform and enrich one another.
This journey is deeply personal and often difficult to articulate. That’s why the wisdom of those who have walked this path before us—the mystics, the theologians, the spiritual guides—is so invaluable. They offer us language and frameworks for understanding the mysterious and beautiful work of spiritual formation.
Mentoring for Coach Certification:
Having journeyed through the three levels of coach certification with the International Coach Federation (ICF) over 13 years (2007-2020), I understand the power of mentorship. The 10 hours of mentoring required for each level were transformative for me. Having a trained assessor provide feedback, create awareness, and introduce new ways of engaging was a game-changer!
To maintain my Master Certified Coach (MCC) credential, I recently completed 40 hours of coach assessor training (Continuing Coach Education Units or CCEUs). This allows me to mentor other coaches and assess their coaching competency. My extensive work with Bob Logan researching and developing world-class Christian coaches gives me a unique perspective, blending the best of both worlds. (Check out our resources HERE).
Whether working one-on-one or in a cohort, I come alongside coaches to help them reach the next level of certification or simply improve their coaching skills. If you’re interested in exploring coach certification with ICF or enhancing your coaching, I’d love to connect.
Schedule a free discovery call with my assistant, Samantha (admin@inforcusnet.org), to discuss how we can partner together in 2025 to cultivate your coaching effectiveness!
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
