The beauty of a truly effective coaching framework lies not in its complexity, but in its simplicity. When a process is straightforward, it becomes reproducible—allowing leaders to pass it on and empower others seamlessly. I am always on the lookout for ways to communicate what coaching is and how it works.
The framework taught by Gary Rohrmayer at www.axelerate.org nails this balance perfectly. It strips away the academic fluff and provides a clear, three-stage roadmap powered by nine core skills that can transform any leadership conversation. It is causing me to rethink how I communicate the coaching process we use in a more reproducible manner.
Here is a breakdown of how this simple, reproducible process works and the skills that bring it to life.
The Three-Stage Coaching Process
This process flows logically from building trust to taking decisive action. Because it is easy to memorize and execute, it can be scaled across any ministry context.
1. Connecting Relationally
Every great coaching relationship begins with trust, not an agenda. Before diving into goals or strategies, a coach establishes rapport and alignment. This stage is about ensuring the person feels seen, heard, and valued. Without a strong relational foundation, any strategic advice given later will carry little weight.
2. Clarifying Strategically
Once a relational bridge is built, the focus shifts to gaining clarity. This is where you help the leader look at the big picture, unpack their current reality, and identify the actual roadblocks or opportunities ahead of them. It is about narrowing down a chaotic list of ideas into a focused strategic direction.
3. Committing Specifically
Clarity without commitment is just a nice conversation. The final phase of the process anchors the discussion into reality. The coach helps the leader define clear, measurable next steps, establishing ownership and timelines. By leaving the conversation with a specific commitment, the leader knows exactly what success looks like before the next meeting.
The 9 Core Skills of an Effective Coach
While the three-stage process provides the tracks, these nine essential skills serve as the engine. They aren’t confined to a single stage; rather, they are woven throughout the entire coaching conversation.
Skill
Description
Credibility
Your character, competence, and consistency. It’s what earns you the right to be heard in the leader’s life.
Active Listening
Hearing what is said and what is left unsaid. It requires giving 100% of your attention and reflecting back what you hear.
Asking Good Questions
Shifting from telling to asking. Open-ended questions spark self-discovery and unlock insights that a directive statement never could.
Goal Setting
Helping the leader articulate clear, realistic, and inspiring milestones that stretch them without breaking them.
Problem Solving
Guiding the leader to diagnose obstacles objectively and brainstorm creative paths around them.
Truth Telling
Speaking the hard truth with love. A great coach names reality and offers honest feedback when a leader has a blind spot.
Grace Giving
Creating a safe space for failure. When a leader falls short of a goal, grace ensures they view it as a learning opportunity rather than a dead end.
Resourcing
Knowing when to introduce a tool, a book, a contact, or a concept that accelerates the leader’s growth.
Sponsoring
Championing the leader. Believing in them, advocating for them, and reminding them of their potential when their own confidence wavers.
The Takeaway: The power of Rohrmayer’s framework is that it doesn’t require a master’s degree to implement. By mastering the rhythm of Connecting, Clarifying, and Committing—while leaning into these nine foundational skills—any leader can create a culture of continuous development. It is coaching stripped down to its most potent, reproducible essence.
When it comes to coaching disciples and disciple-makers, accountability is a delicate dance. I’m often reminded of this with the small group of men I lead. If I come in too hot, it pushes people away. If I’m too soft, the impact gets lost.
Over the years, I’ve found a “gentle but firm” sweet spot that works beautifully, and it boils down to a simple routine we practice during the last 15 minutes of our time together:
1. Reflect: Everyone takes a few moments to sit with the Scripture we’ve discussed and ask the Holy Spirit to prompt them with one actionable takeaway.
2. Schedule: Once they’ve discerned that step, they lock it into their phone calendar as a reminder for the upcoming week.
3. Share (Optionally): We come back together, and everyone has the option to share their step. There’s no pressure, but interestingly enough, everyone usually does!
The following week, we open our session with a quick check-in to hear what everyone learned. What I love about this approach is that it builds organic accountability on everyone’s own terms—including mine!
Learning from the Best
As a coach, I always keep an eye out for world-class secular experts whose insights can be curated to serve leaders in the church, church planting networks, and international missions.
That’s why Michael Bungay Stanier has caught my attention recently.
You might know him as the author of The Coaching Habit (the best-selling book on coaching this century) or recognize him as a Rhodes Scholar named by the ICF and Thinkers50 as a premier voice shaping modern coaching. He’s a brilliant Australian living in Canada, and he has some profound things to say about accountability.
I think his perspective is well worth tuning into at the FREEupcoming Coaching.com Summit on June 8th at 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST.
While my immediate thought is how this can empower front-line disciple-makers, his insights apply just as powerfully to pastors, church planters, and executive leaders serving in the organizational C-suite.
His session, “Courageous Commitment: The Accountability Shift for Coaches,” promises to deliver three great takeaways:
1. Three insights that explain exactly why it’s so hard to hold ourselves to the tasks we truly want to achieve.
2. Three paradoxes about accountability that will twist your thinking up in the most delightful way.
3. A surprise finale that’s under wraps— you’ll have to tune in to see it unfold!
If you’re looking to sharpen how you maintain accountability for yourself first and foremost, walk alongside others as they make disciples, and elevate leaders you empower through coaching in their ministries, I’d love for you to join me for this webinar.
Here is how to register – CLICK HERE. Sign up for the FREE access. You will have access to a bunch of other sessions that might be of interest as well, but I recommend “Courageous Commitment: The Accountability Shift for Coaches,” led by Michael Bungay Stanier.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to invite a neighbor to a church event, only to hesitate with your hand hovering over the doorbell?
If we’re being completely honest, there’s a common roadblock many of us face as followers of Jesus: the relationship gap. My hunch is that most people in your church feel the same. When we think about the people living right next door, we realize the depth of connection just isn’t there yet. We want to extend an invitation, but deep down, we know there’s a vital step missing. Way before an invitation to a church event is ever made, we have to ask ourselves: Do our neighbors actually feel seen?
Realizing this sparked a journey for my wife and me. We decided to bridge that gap by opening our front door and creating safe, inviting dinners right inside our home.
The result? It has been incredibly rich and rewarding. By simply sharing a meal, we’ve started to build a beautiful foundation of mutual trust and appreciation. It doesn’t happen by accident—it takes time and focus—but the payoff is life-changing.
What Does It Take?
You don’t need a degree in hospitality or a spotless house. It really just takes three things:
Intentionality: Making a conscious choice to slow down and focus on the people around you.
Prayer: Asking God to prepare your heart and the hearts of your neighbors.
Boldness: Taking that small, courageous step to step out of your comfort zone.
How We Did It (And You & Your People Can Too!)
Getting started is simpler than you think. We broke it down into four straightforward steps:
Set a date: Put it on the calendar so it’s real.
Create a list: Write down the names of the neighbors with whom you want to connect.
Make a plan: Keep it simple—no need to overcomplicate the evening.
Begin making invites: Take a deep breath and ask them!
A Few Things We Learned Along the Way
We’ve picked up some practical wisdom from hosting dinners like this in the past that made a massive difference in how the evening flowed:
Keep it cozy: We found that 4 couples (give or take) is the sweet spot for meaningful, inclusive conversation where everyone gets to participate.
Share the load: Make it a potluck-style meal. People love to contribute, and it takes the pressure off you as the host.
Guide the conversation: Create a few light conversation prompts to break the ice, then just let the natural group dynamic flow.
Try These Icebreakers: Here are three simple questions we used that sparked wonderful conversations:
What brought you to our neighborhood?
What are you enjoying most about your life right now?
What are you most excited about looking ahead to?
By the end of our last gathering, we simply asked if everyone would like to swap contact information, just in case anyone ever needed a hand with something. Without a moment’s hesitation, every single couple enthusiastically said “yes!”
The Big Takeaway
This might seem elementary, but in our current cultural moment, connection is king.
If you’re wondering whether your neighbors will respond, keep these three truths in mind:
People are yearning for community. Loneliness is at an all-time high; people want to be known.
People respond positively to the right invitation. A warm, no-pressure welcome goes a very long way.
Your living room is a bridge. Someone who might say “no” to a church event will often say a resounding “yes” to coming into your home as a beautiful first step.
Building community right where you live takes a little effort, but the community waiting to be unlocked right outside your front door is entirely worth it. Who is God putting on your heart to invite first?
Here are 5 reflection questions designed to help you and your people process the information in this blog and take practical next steps:
1. Assessing the “Relationship Gap.”
When you think about the neighbors living closest to you, how wide is the “relationship gap”? Do you feel you have established enough trust with them to invite them into your home, or are you starting from scratch?
2. Making Neighbors Feel “Seen.”
The blog emphasizes making neighbors feel seen long before an invitation to church is extended. What are some practical, low-pressure ways you can make your neighbors feel noticed and valued during your normal weekly routine?
3. Overcoming the Hurdles
The three points of action are: Intentionality, Prayer, and Boldness. Which of these three points feels the most natural to you right now, and which one will require the greatest step of faith?
4. The Power of Your Living Room
How does shifting the focus from “inviting people to a church building” to “inviting people into your living room” change your perspective on outreach? What makes the home a uniquely “safe space” in our current cultural moment?
5. Taking the First Step
If you were to set a date and create an initial invite list today, who are the first 3 or 4 couples (or individuals) in your immediate neighborhood that God is putting on your heart to connect with?
Is your church a “hospital” for the hurting, a “classroom” for the curious, or a “greenhouse” for growth? Most churches strive to be all three, but often get stuck in the cycle of program management.
If you’ve taken the Disciple-Making Assessment, you now have a snapshot of your church’s DNA. But a score is just a number until it becomes a conversation that leads to action. Whether your results were mostly “Green” (On Mission) or “Red” (Off Mission), here are practical ways to move the needle in each of the seven core areas.
1. Convictional Leadership
Prioritizing people over programs.
To move from managing an organization to leading a movement, leadership must shift its “success metrics.”
The Tip: Audit your calendar. If your week is 90% meetings about logistics and 10% meetings with people you are personally discipling, flip the script.
Action Step: Start every leadership meeting by sharing a story of a life being changed through a personal relationship, rather than reviewing the budget first.
2. Obedience-Based, Reproducible Models
Teaching “how to obey” rather than “how to know.”
Information alone doesn’t transform; application does. If your methods are too complex, they won’t be copied.
The Tip: Use the “I Do, We Do, You Do” model. Don’t just give someone a book; show them how to study it, do it with them, and then watch them do it with someone else.
Action Step: In your small groups, ask: “What is one specific thing you will do this week in response to this Scripture?” and follow up on it the next time you meet.
3. Prayer and Scripture as Foundations
Relying on the Spirit over the strategy.
Strategy is helpful, but the Holy Spirit is essential. If your plans don’t require God to show up for them to succeed, you might be dreaming too small.
The Tip: Implement “Listening Prayer” in your leadership sessions. Instead of just praying for God to bless your plans, spend time in silence asking Him for His plans.
Action Step: Ensure Scripture is the “primary voice” in the room. Before making a major decision, ask: “Does this align with the Great Commission, or are we just doing what’s comfortable?”
4. Relational Community
Intentionality over “hanging out.”
Fellowship is the “glue,” but discipleship is the “engine.” Healthy communities are safe enough for confession but intentional enough for challenge.
The Tip: Foster a culture of “High Support, High Challenge.” Be the first to lead with vulnerability; when leaders share their struggles, it gives the congregation permission to be real.
Action Step: Train your small group leaders to identify “Potential Leaders” within their groups from day one, rather than waiting for someone to “feel ready.”
5. Clear Pathways and Expectations
Clarity leads to movement.
If a newcomer has to guess how to grow in your church, they probably won’t. Complexity is the enemy of multiplication.
The Tip: Simplify your “On-Ramp.” Can a 12-year-old explain how your church makes disciples? If not, your process might be too foggy.
Action Step: Draw your discipleship pathway on a napkin. If it takes more than three steps (e.g., Connect, Grow, Multiply), trim the fat.
6. Mission Beyond the Walls
Success is measured by who we “send,” not who “sits.”
A church that only focuses on its Sunday service is a “cul-de-sac” for the Gospel. We want to be a “highway.”
The Tip: Shift the focus to the Oikos (the 8 to 15 people with whom each member naturally interacts). Equip your people to see their workplace or neighborhood as their primary mission field.
Action Step: Once a month, replace a standard “in-house” event with a “go-out” initiative where groups serve their local community together.
7. Leadership Alignment
Every department moving toward one goal.
If the youth ministry is doing one thing and the worship team is doing another, you’ll have a “silo” culture that drains energy.
The Tip: Create a “Unified Win.” Every department head should be able to answer how their specific area contributes to making reproducing disciples.
Action Step: Create a leadership pipeline. Identify people at the “Entry Level” (helpers), “Mid-Level” (leaders), and “Top Level” (coaches), and ensure everyone has a mentor.
“What is foggy in your head is confusing on a napkin. Clarity leads to movement.”
The goal of this assessment isn’t perfection—it’s reproduction. Pick one area today, gather your team, and decide on one “next step” you can realistically take this month.
How did your church score in the assessment, and which of these seven areas do you feel most compelled to focus on first?
Have you taken the Disciple-Making Assessment?
I recently picked up a book titled “7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches”. It is a fascinating read—one of the few I’ve found that digs into the traits of North American churches that are quietly adopting the powerful principles used by global disciple-making movements. Unlike the high-profile mega-churches that usually dominate our newsfeeds, these networks often fly under the radar, focusing more on depth than on the spotlight.
Are you ready to see where you stand? I’ve created an assessment to guide you and your team through the process to spark crucial conversations.
CLICK HERE to assess the Disciple-Making culture in your church!
Let’s move together from just managing crowds to truly multiplying the Kingdom. I’d love to hear what you discover as you walk through this with your team!
There is a unique joy in discovering a resource that feels like a “missing piece” for our mission. As we collectively lean into the work of multiplying disciples, cultivating leaders, and planting churches, we are always looking for ways to be more effective and more intentional with the leaders entrusted to our care.
Recently, I’ve been exploring a tool that has truly captured my attention. It’s called the MotivationCode (MCode) Assessment. While I’m still in the early stages of diving into its full potential, the insights I’ve seen so far are significant.
Why Motivation Matters Now
We all know that what a leader does is important, but why they do it—the internal engine driving their decisions—is what determines long-term sustainability. The MCode gets under the hood to help leaders understand their primary “motivation themes.”
While the applications are broad, I am particularly excited about how this can serve those of us working as professional leadership coaches. Whether you are coaching leaders here at home or navigating the unique complexities of international work, understanding motivation is a game-changer.
Impact Across Borders
This feels especially vital for leaders serving in restricted regions where a business or professional platform grants entry into the country. In these contexts, the pressure is high, and the margins for error are slim. Helping a leader establish a legitimate business that aligns with their internal motivations and mission is a wonderful thing. And in turn, these leaders can help others flourish in their vocation, all in the context of making disciples.
Taking the First Step
Because I believe in testing everything thoroughly, I’m starting at the beginning. I plan to introduce the MCode during the onboarding process for new coaching clients. By identifying a leader’s motivation style from day one, we can:
Tailor the coaching journey to resonate with their specific drivers.
Identify potential blind spots before they become obstacles.
Foster deeper self-awareness that leads to more authentic leadership.
Join Me in the Discovery
I am eager to see how this instrument sharpens our ability to develop leaders who are not just capable but deeply rooted in their calling. If you are curious about how your own unique “code” drives your leadership, I’d love for you to explore this with me.
I’ll be sure to share more as I continue to test the tool, but in the meantime, let’s keep looking for those resources that help us multiply our impact for the Kingdom.
When you are starting a new coaching relationship, training a new leader, or planting a new church, what is the one thing you’re most curious to learn about the people with whom you work?
Curious how your church culture is facilitating disciple-making?
I recently picked up a book titled 7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches. It is a fascinating read—one of the few I’ve found that digs into the traits of North American churches that are quietly adopting the powerful principles used by global disciple-making movements. Unlike the high-profile mega-churches that usually dominate our newsfeeds, these networks often fly under the radar, focusing more on depth than on the spotlight.
Not long after I finished it, I was catching up with a leader who catalyzes disciple-making groups in his congregation. We were talking about the common struggle of knowing if we are actually “winning” at the right things. He looked at me and asked, “I know we’re busy, but are we actually making disciples? I wish I had a simple tool to help my team look under the hood and see how our ministry is really doing.”
That conversation sparked an idea. I wanted to take those seven powerful practices and turn them into a practical coaching guide—something you can sit down with, reflect on, and use to determine your very next step.
Are you ready to see where you stand? I’ve created an assessment to guide you and your team through the process to spark crucial conversations.
CLICK HERE to assess the Disciple-Making culture in your church!
Let’s move together from just managing crowds to truly multiplying the Kingdom. I’d love to hear what you discover as you walk through this with your team!
Have you ever had one of those “aha!” moments that happen when you aren’t even looking for it?
I recently picked up a book titled 7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches. It is a fascinating read—one of the few I’ve found that digs into the traits of North American churches that are quietly adopting the powerful principles used by global disciple-making movements. Unlike the high-profile mega-churches that usually dominate our newsfeeds, these networks often fly under the radar, focusing more on depth than on the spotlight.
Not long after I finished it, I was catching up with a leader who catalyzes disciple-making groups in his congregation. We were talking about the common struggle of knowing if we are actually “winning” at the right things. He looked at me and asked, “I know we’re busy, but are we actually making disciples? I wish I had a simple tool to help my team look under the hood and see how our ministry is really doing.”
That conversation sparked an idea. I wanted to take those seven powerful practices and turn them into a practical coaching guide—something you can sit down with, reflect on, and use to determine your very next step.
The 7 Practices: Where is Your Pulse?
I want to invite you to take a moment and look at these seven areas. As you read through them, ask yourself: Where are we thriving, and where is the fog starting to set in?
Convictional Leadership: Making disciples isn’t just a program; it’s the “main thing.” What is your church’s actual main thing right now?
Obedience-Based, Reproducible Models: We move from “how much do they know?” to “how are they obeying?” What metrics are you using to see if multiplication is happening?
Prayer and Scripture as Foundations: Disciples can’t grow on human effort alone. How are prayer and the Word integrated into your daily process?
Relational Community: Growth happens best in circles, not just rows. What percentage of your community is in a real disciple-making relationship?
Clear Pathways and Expectations: “If it’s foggy in your head, it’s confusing on a napkin.” Could your average member draw your discipleship pathway on a napkin in five minutes?
Mission Beyond the Walls: We make disciples for the sake of those who don’t know Jesus yet. How are you encouraging your people to step into the “Harvest”?
Leadership Alignment: Everyone needs to be working from the same blueprint. What is your plan to keep your leaders focused and engaged for the long haul?
If that leader’s question resonated with you, I’ve put together a tool to help you get the clarity you’re looking for. It’s a simple assessment designed to be done with your team. You’ll rate each practice to get clarity and determine where to focus.
It isn’t about judgment; it’s about stewardship. It’s about ensuring that the energy you and your team are pouring out is actually resulting in the Kingdom expansion we all long to see.
Are you ready to see where you stand? I’ve created an assessment to guide you and your team through the process to spark crucial conversations.
CLICK HERE to assess the Disciple-Making culture in your church!
Let’s move together from just managing crowds to truly multiplying the Kingdom. I’d love to hear what you discover as you walk through this with your team!
I recently finished 7 Practices of Disciple Making Churches, and it shifted my perspective. While the headlines usually go to the fastest-growing mega-churches, there’s a quiet, powerful movement of North American churches learning from global disciple-making movements. They aren’t worried about the spotlight; they’re concerned with the mission.
Ready to see where your church stands? Grab your team, some coffee, and let’s walk through these seven shifts together.
The 7 Practices: A Deep Dive
Use these summaries and questions to spark honest conversation. Don’t rush—the goal isn’t to finish the list, but to find the “North Star” for your ministry.
Practice
The Heart of the Matter
Reflection Question
1. Convictional Leadership
Making disciples isn’t a thing we do; it’s the main thing.
Honestly, what is our church’s current “main thing”?
2. Obedience-Based Models
We don’t just want smarter disciples; we want more obedient ones. Simplicity scales.
How do we actually measure if our disciples are multiplying?
3. Foundation of Prayer & Word
We can’t give what we don’t have. Growth is fueled by the Spirit and the Scripture.
How are prayer and Scripture woven into our daily process?
4. Relational Community
Growth happens in circles, not just rows. Relationships are the “greenhouse” for disciples.
What percentage of our people are in actual disciple-making relationships?
5. Clear Pathways
“If it’s foggy in your head, it’s confusing on a napkin.”
Can our leaders draw our disciple-making pathway on a napkin in 5 mins?
6. Mission Beyond the Walls
We don’t make disciples for the sake of the church; we do it for the sake of the world.
How are we equipping people to make disciples in the “Harvest”?
7. Leadership Alignment
We need everyone building from the same blueprint.
What is our long-term plan to keep leaders focused on this mission?
Gather your team and color-code your current reality. Be brave—honesty here is the first step toward health.
Green: On Mission (Keep doing what you’re doing!)
Yellow: Needs Work (Deep dive: What can we realistically change?)
Red: Off Mission (Stop and engage your best leaders in a “hard reset” conversation.)
Coach-Tip: If you’re stuck on where to start, look at Practice #1. If the leadership isn’t convicted, the rest of the engine won’t turn over.
Action Planning: Taking the First Step
Don’t try to fix all seven at once. Pick one “Red” or “Yellow” area this week.
Example: Practice #1 (Convictional Leadership)
The Goal: Refocus disciple-making as the “Main Thing.”
The Action: Audit your church calendar. For every activity, ask: “Is this directly helping us make a disciple who makes disciples?” * The Rating: Assign a Green, Yellow, or Red to every program on the books.
What is the Holy Spirit prompting you to look at first? Let’s get to work!
Since we’re always looking for ways to see the Kingdom expand, I wanted to share something that really caught my eye.
Do you ever find yourself wondering what it actually takes to move beyond just growing a crowd and start truly multiplying? I’m talking about the kind of movement where disciples are flourishing, leaders are rising up naturally, and healthy new churches are taking root.
I’ve been diving into the “Becoming a Level 5IVE Multiplying Church Field Guide” by Todd Wilson, Dave Ferguson, and Alan Hirsch. With their blessing, I’ve synthesized some of their best insights into a practical tool for you.
Curious about how this looks in your specific neck of the woods?
I’d love to send you a simple evaluation to help you get a clear pulse on multiplication in your own context. It’s a great way to spark some fresh vision with your team!
[CLICK HERE to request your Multiplication Evaluation.]
Have you ever sat in a service and heard something from the stage that made you tilt your head and think, “Wait, did they really just say that?”
I had one of those moments recently. A seasoned pastor—someone I know and respect—was sharing about his journey of planting the very church he leads today. He looked out at the congregation and said quite bluntly: “I will never do that again; it was so hard!”
Now, I get it. Church planting is grueling. It’s a “parachute drop” into the unknown that eats your margins, strains your family time, and often forces your high expectations to collide with a very messy reality. But here’s the kicker: this church’s vision is to be a church-planting church.
As I sat there, I couldn’t help but wonder about the aspiring leaders in the room. What did they hear? Did that honest confession feel like a breath of fresh air, or like a “keep out” sign?
It got me thinking about the core of our mission: Should making disciples actually be joyful?
Redefining the “Joy” Factor
When we talk about joy in ministry, we often drift toward James 1:2: “Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials.” But let’s be honest—we usually apply that to enduring pain, not necessarily having a blast.
When I ask if disciple-making should be joyful, I’m asking:
Is it engaging?
Does the fulfillment outweigh the friction?
Is the “juice worth the squeeze”?
If we aren’t enjoying the process, we have to ask ourselves why. Is it the model? The context? Or have we just made things harder than they were meant to be?
Is Something “Eating Your Lunch”?
If you’re currently feeling like disciple-making is a chore rather than a calling, you might be hitting a wall you haven’t identified yet. Usually, the joy gets sucked out of the room by a few specific “fun-killers”:
The Boredom Barrier: People aren’t just busy; they’re rejecting invitations because the process feels dry.
The Overwhelm: You’re asking for a level of commitment that feels like a second full-time job.
The Complexity Trap: If it’s too complicated to explain, it’s too complicated to enjoy.
The Reproduction Problem: If the process isn’t effective or reproducible, you’re stuck doing all the heavy lifting yourself.
How to Find Your “Holy Fun” Again
If your answer to “Are you experiencing joy?” is a hesitant “sometimes” or a flat “no,” it’s time to change the variables. We serve a God of life and abundance—the mission shouldn’t feel like a slow march to burnout.
Here are three ways to shift the energy:
1. Reverse Engineer the Essentials: Rethink your pathway. Strip away the “religious fluff” and look at the absolute essentials of following Jesus. If you could only do three things to help someone grow, what would they be? Start there.
2. Don’t Walk Alone. Join a disciple-making cohort. There is incredible joy (and a lot of laughs) to be found in a community of people who are in the same trenches, sharing what’s working and what’s failing.
3. Map It Out. If the process is fuzzy in your mind, it will be frustrating in practice. Grab a whiteboard and map out the journey. Clarity brings peace, and peace is the cousin of joy.
I sincerely pray that your journey of making disciples is filled with more “I can’t believe I get to do this” moments than “I’ll never do that again” moments.
If you’re ready to try something different and test a new way of engaging people, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s make the mission something people actually want to join!
Are you currently experiencing joy in your disciple-making?
Where do I already spend the most time with people who don’t know Jesus?
What is one simple way I can show radical hospitality to a neighbor this week?
Who in my life seems to be ‘spiritually hungry’ or asking big questions right now?
What parts of my own faith journey feel most natural and joyful to share with others?
If I were to mentor just one person starting today, who would it be, and what is the first step?
Curious About Multiplication?
Do you wonder what it takes to multiply disciples, cultivate leaders, and plant healthy churches? I’ve synthesized a list from the “Becoming a Level 5IVE Multiplying Church Field Guide” by Todd Wilson, Dave Ferguson, and Alan Hirsch (with their permission). CLICK HERE to request a simple evaluation to help you look at multiplication in your context.
I recently had the privilege of participating in a virtual Lenten study led by Keith Meyers. If you aren’t familiar with Keith, he shared a deep friendship and professional collaboration with Dallas Willard that spanned over 30 years. Having pastored everything from small to mega-churches, including 17 years as the Executive Pastor of Church of the Open Door, Keith brings a wealth of wisdom to the table.
His recent book, Whole Life Transformation: Becoming the Change Your Church Needs, was actually endorsed by Dallas himself. It’s a must-read, especially if you’ve been feeling the tension of how to truly integrate spiritual formation into your own life and the rhythm of your congregation.
A Different Kind of Conversation About Eternity
During our final session, we dove into a topic Dallas famously called the “Abolishment of Death.” I found myself asking a question many of us wrestle with: “How do we describe the experience of those who have never heard the Gospel, or those who have rejected Jesus?”
Too often, our “church” answer is quick and clinical: “They are eternally separated from God in hell.”
But Keith shared a response that shifted my perspective, and I want to pass that along to you as fellow disciple-makers.
Dallas once said, “Hell is the best God can do for some people.”
The word “best” is the key there. Just as Abraham wrestled with the fate of Sodom and was reminded, “Will not the Righteous (the Good) Judge do justly?”, we can rest in the certainty that God will do His absolute best for every human being He has lovingly created in His image.
Every Knee Shall Bow—In Wonder, Not Fear
I remember Dallas talking about Philippians 2—where every knee bows and every tongue confesses. With his voice catching with emotion, he didn’t describe it as a moment of cringing fear. Instead, he saw it as a moment of revelation. People’s eyes will finally be opened, and they will fall down in worship because they finally see the God of Love in Jesus for who He truly is.
For those we know who struggle with the Christian life, or who haven’t heard the Gospel in the fullness that Dallas describes, we can have a deep hope. Many will jump with joy when they finally see Jesus. They will realize what they could have had, what they now will have, and what they wanted all along but never heard clearly. In the light of being like Jesus forever, this life will seem like a very short, old fairytale compared to the reality of growing in His love.
What Does This Mean for Us as Disciple-Makers?
I’m sharing this from where I am on my own journey, and I’d love for you to process it with me. If we view eternity through this lens of God’s goodness, it changes how we approach our mission:
A Gospel for Everyone: The Good News is all-encompassing. It removes any posture of superiority or “spiritual elitism.”
Patient Apprenticeship: If God is this patient and good, we can afford to be patient with a person’s growth. We don’t need to pressure people into “quick decisions.”
Clarity over Complexity: Our job is to make the path to becoming an apprentice of Jesus clear and inviting, rather than complicated and cumbersome.
Pause & Reflect
As you think about your own ministry and life, consider these questions:
What am I actually communicating when I share the Gospel?
In my teaching, what are people being saved from—and more importantly, what are they being saved to?
How well is our church aligned with this expansive view of the Gospel? Where are the gaps?
Curious About Multiplication?
If this perspective on the Gospel makes you curious about how faith multiplies, I’ve put together a resource for you. I’ve synthesized a list from the “Becoming a Level 5IVE Multiplying Church Field Guide” by Todd Wilson, Dave Ferguson, and Alan Hirsch.
[CLICK HERE] to access a simple evaluation I created to help you look at multiplication in your context.
How does this perspective on “God’s best” change the way you feel about the people in your neighborhood who haven’t yet met Jesus?
One of the most beautiful gifts of the liturgical church is the rhythm of the church calendar. There is such a deep, grounded strength in following the steps of those who walked before us. Over the years, we’ve come to truly treasure the intricacies of Holy Week—those historical touchpoints that help us remember who we are and whose we are.
We’ve gained so much by simply taking the time to slow down, reflect, and lean into a community of others on that same journey. Whether it’s the quiet reverence of Good Friday or the pure joy of Easter Sunday, these moments anchor us.
When we were raising our young children, we viewed Holy Week as a vital way to show them God’s faithfulness in “real-time.” I have to give all the credit to Gina for the incredible effort and heart she put into preparing for our Seder meals. We did our best to set a meaningful tone, hunt down the right ingredients, and create an experience that felt both fun for the kids and truly holy for all of us.
Is your church or community observing a Seder Meal this year? If you’re looking to bring this tradition into your own home or join with others, here is a streamlined guide to help you host or participate in a Seder that honors the story of the Exodus.
1. The Essentials: The Seder Plate
The Seder plate is the heart of the table. It holds six symbolic items that serve as a “sensory map” for the story:
Item
Name
Symbolism
Karpas
Parsley/Greenery
Springtime and hope; dipped in salt water (tears).
Maror
Bitter Herbs
The bitterness of slavery (usually horseradish).
Chazeret
Second Bitter Herb
Often, romaine lettuce; used in the “Hillel Sandwich.”
Charoset
Fruit & Nut Paste
Represents the mortar used by Israelite slaves.
Zeroah
Roasted Bone
Symbolizes the Paschal sacrifice (a beet can be used for vegetarians).
Beitzah
Roasted Egg
Symbolizes the cycle of life and festival offerings.
Quick Tip: Don’t forget three pieces of Matzah (unleavened bread) stacked and covered, and enough wine or grape juice for everyone to enjoy the traditional four cups.
2. The Haggadah (The Script)
The Haggadah is the book that guides you through the evening. Interestingly, “Seder” actually translates to “Order”—and there are 15 specific steps that help the story unfold:
Kadeish: Sanctification (The 1st cup of wine).
Urchatz: Washing the hands (without a blessing).
Karpas: Dipping the green vegetable in salt water.
Yachatz: Breaking the middle matzah. The larger piece becomes the Afikoman (hide this for the kids to find later!).
Maggid: Telling the story. This is where the youngest person asks the Four Questions.
Rachtzah: Washing the hands (with a blessing).
Motzi Matzah: The blessing over the matzah.
Maror: Tasting the bitter herbs.
Koreich: Enjoying the “Hillel Sandwich” (matzah, maror, and charoset).
Shulchan Oreich: The main festive meal—time to eat!
Tzafun: Finding and eating the Afikoman.
Bareich: Grace after the meal (The 3rd cup of wine).
Hallel: Singing songs of praise (The 4th cup of wine).
Nirtzah: The conclusion—”Next year in Jerusalem!”
3. Creating the Atmosphere
Remember, a Seder is meant to be engaging and relaxed, not stiff! In ancient tradition, people actually reclined while drinking their wine to show they were no longer slaves, but free people at rest.
The Four Questions: If you have children at the table, lean into their curiosity. The Seder is designed to be a hand-off of faith to the next generation.
The Cup of Elijah: We fill a cup and open the door to symbolically welcome the prophet Elijah, representing our hope for future redemption.
The Ten Plagues: As you name each plague, it’s traditional to dip a finger in your wine and place a drop on your plate. It’s a somber, beautiful moment of empathy, acknowledging that our joy is lessened because others suffered for our freedom.
In a traditional Seder, the youngest child asks why this night is different from all other nights. Here is a simplified, kid-friendly version you can print out or practice with them:
The Four Questions: Why is this night different?
On all other nights, we eat bread or crackers. Why on this night do we only eat Matzah?
The Answer: Because our ancestors had to leave Egypt so quickly, their bread didn’t have time to rise!
On all other nights, we eat all kinds of vegetables. Why on this night do we eat “Maror” (bitter herbs)?
The Answer: To help us remember how bitter and hard it was to be slaves in Egypt.
On all other nights, we don’t usually dip our food. Why on this night do we dip our food twice?
The Answer: We dip parsley in salt water to remember tears, and we dip bitter herbs into sweet charoset to remember that even in hard times, there is hope.
On all other nights, we sit up straight at the table. Why on this night do we recline and lean on pillows?
The Answer: Because once we were slaves, but now we are free! Reclining was a sign of being a free person in the ancient world.
A Classic Seder Menu
The Starter: Matzah Ball Soup, known affectionately as “Jewish Penicillin.” These are fluffy (or dense, depending on your family preference!) dumplings served in a clear, rich chicken broth with carrots and celery.
The Main: Slow-Roasted Beef Brisket. This is the star of the show. Brisket is perfect for a Seder because it’s braised slowly with onions, carrots, and often a bit of tomato or red wine, making it incredibly tender. Plus, it’s even better when made a day ahead!
The Side: Potato Kugel. Think of this as a savory, shredded potato casserole. It’s crispy on the edges and soft in the middle—the ultimate comfort food that pairs perfectly with the brisket gravy.
The Vegetable: Roasted Tzimmes A colorful dish of roasted honey-glazed carrots and sweet potatoes, often tossed with dried plums (prunes) or apricots. It adds a lovely sweetness to the plate.
The Sweet Finish: Flourless Chocolate Cake or Macaroons Since we don’t use flour (leavening) during Passover, a rich, dense chocolate cake or chewy coconut macaroons are the traditional way to end the night on a high note.
A Few Tips for a Kid-Friendly Seder Meal:
The Reward: Since the kids have to wait through the first part of the Seder to get to the meal, many families have a small “treat” or prize ready for the child who finds the Afikoman (the hidden piece of Matzah) later in the night. It keeps the energy high!
Let them Recline: If you want to make it “fun yet holy”, let the kids bring their favorite pillows to the dinner table. It’s a great visual for them to understand the difference between “slavery” and “rest.”
One thing that makes the Seder meal unique is the timing. Because the “storytelling” (the Maggid) happens before the meal, guests can sometimes get a little “hangry” waiting for the brisket!
Have small bowls of salt water and extra parsley (Karpas) or even some plain nuts and dried fruit already on the table. It gives everyone something to nibble on while you’re going through the Hagaddah steps before the main course is served.
Ultimately, the Seder is more than just a meal; it is a living bridge between the past and the future. By making the effort to gather, to lean into the symbols, and to invite our children to ask their questions, we aren’t just recounting history—we are practicing faithfulness. Whether your table is perfectly set or beautifully chaotic, remember that the “holiness” of the evening comes from the shared journey and the quiet reminder that God is, and always has been, a deliverer. As you lift your cups and break the matzah this year, may you find fresh joy in the rhythm of the calendar and the enduring hope of the story we tell together.
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