In my last post, I wrestled with the complexities we often impose on discipleship in American churches. We can get so caught up in finding the “perfect” program or the most innovative strategy that we inadvertently dismiss the simple, relational heart of following Jesus and inviting others to do the same. We sometimes discount approaches that aren’t our own or believe that what works elsewhere will “never work here.” (You can catch up on that conversation by clicking HERE.)
But today, I want to move beyond the critique and get practical. What can you do, whether you’re a pastor, a church leader, or simply a follower of Christ, to genuinely engage people in their spiritual journey towards finding and following Jesus? I believe the answer lies not in more complicated systems, but in a return to the foundational power of relationships.
Towards the end of this article, I’ll introduce a simple tool to help you take immediate action. If you’re ready to discover The Oikos Principle, feel free to skip ahead!
The Peril of Mission Drift
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on a concept introduced in Tom Mercer’s book, “8 to 15, The World Is Smaller Than You Think.” In the chapter aptly titled “The Main Thing,” Mercer highlights our vulnerability to “mission drift” – that slow, often unintentional movement away from our core purpose towards activities that, while perhaps good in themselves, distract us from what truly matters.
He uses a striking example: the original founding mission statement of Harvard University:
“To be plainly instructed and consider well that the main end of your life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ.”
While Harvard remains a prestigious academic institution, it’s undeniable that their primary focus has shifted dramatically. Mercer suggests that the church in America can also fall prey to this mission drift. It’s not about intentional malice, but a natural human tendency. As churches grow and expand, or conversely, when facing stagnation, there’s a pull towards the familiar, the comfortable, potentially losing sight of the core mission of making disciples.
Mercer then shares compelling statistics from Dr. Tom Reiner’s research in “Ten Surprises About the Unchurched.” Reiner and his team spent three years interviewing a diverse cross-section of unchurched and non-Christian individuals across all 50 states. Their findings debunked some common myths:
DeBunking Myths About the Unchurched
Most of the unchurched feel guilty about not attending church.(False)
96% of the unchurched are at least somewhat likely to attend church if they are invited.(True!)
Very few of the unchurched have ever had someone share with them how to become a Christian.(Alarmingly True)
Most of the unchurched have a positive view of pastors and the church.(Encouragingly True)
Many of the unchurched have a church background.(Reveals a potential for reconnection)
Some types of cold calls are effective, but many are not.(Highlights the need for relational approaches)
The unchurched would like to develop a real and sincere relationship with Christians.(This is key!)
The attitudes of the unchurched are not correlated to where they live, their ethnic or racial background, or their gender.(Underlines the universal need for connection)
Many of the unchurched are far more concerned about the spiritual well-being of their children than they are about themselves.(A powerful point of connection)
These findings paint a clear picture: the unchurched aren’t necessarily hostile to faith or the church. In fact, a significant majority are open to an invitation and desire a genuine connection with Christians. The real gap often lies in the lack of personal invitation and the absence of individuals sharing their faith.
Taking Action: Embracing The Oikos Principle
So, what can we do in response to these insights? We can take action, and one powerful way to do that is by applying The Oikos Principle. As I mentioned earlier (and elaborated on in my previous blog – CLICK HERE), this principle, highlighted by Mercer, focuses on the power of our existing relationships.
“Oikos” is a Greek word that refers to a person’s household, family, and close network of relationships. The Oikos Principle encourages us to intentionally engage the people already in our sphere of influence. Here are the five steps Mercer outlines:
The Oikos Principle
LIST your oikos: Identify those 8-15 people with whom you have developed, are developing, or perhaps should develop relational equity. These are your friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, and acquaintances.
PRAY daily for your oikos: Commit to praying specifically for each person on your list, asking that they would sense God’s presence in their lives and be open to His love.
INVEST in your oikos: Look for meaningful ways to be present in their lives, show genuine care, and build deeper connections. Be God’s instrument by demonstrating His love through your actions.
INVITE them: As God opens doors of opportunity, thoughtfully and regularly invite them to church or into other faith-based conversations. This should flow naturally from the investment you’ve already made in the relationship.
PREPARE to become a better example of faith in Christ and a more effective witness of His grace: Recognize that your own spiritual growth is crucial. As you deepen your relationship with Christ, you become a more authentic and compelling witness.
This isn’t about implementing a new, complex program. It’s about leveraging the relationships God has already given you. It’s about seeing your everyday interactions as potential opportunities for Kingdom impact.
Putting It Into Practice
For me personally, I’ve taken this principle to heart. I ride mountain bikes twice a week with a group of guys I’ve known for several years. I’ve written their names on an Oikos Principle card* (which you can download for yourself* – CLICK HERE) and am intentionally praying for them daily. Our church is hosting a Men’s Breakfast next month, and I plan to thoughtfully invite some of these individuals to join me. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it builds upon existing relationships.
The Oikos Principle isn’t a magic formula, but it’s a powerful reminder that discipleship often starts in our own backyards, within the circles of influence God has already entrusted to us. By intentionally loving, serving, and inviting those in our oikos, we can move beyond the complexities and rediscover the relational heart of sharing the love of Jesus.
If you’re ready to take the next step and explore The Oikos Principle further, CLICK HERE for more information! Let’s reclaim the simple, yet profound, power of relational discipleship.
Lately, I’ve been carrying this nagging feeling, this little struggle in my spirit. It’s about how we, in the American church culture, often approach this whole “disciple-making” thing. Does it ever feel… clunky to you? Like we’ve built this intricate machine with so many moving parts that it ends up feeling more like it’s sputtering and stalling than actually, you know, making disciples?
We’ve tried all sorts of things, haven’t we? We’ve tried to make church more “attractive,” and hey, that’s brought people to Jesus, which is amazing! But sometimes I wonder if we’ve focused so much on the “attract” part that we’ve inadvertently made the actual following and becoming part feel… well, a bit overwhelming.
Then, I stumbled upon this little book, “8 to 15, The World Is Smaller Than You Think” by Tom Mercer. And honestly, it was like a breath of fresh air. Mercer talks about this concept called the Oikos Principle. Now, “Oikos” is just the Greek word for “extended family,” but the way he breaks it down is so simple, but yet so profound.
Think about it:
Your extended family (literally, that’s the Greek meaning!).
The most natural place for sharing your faith to happen. Isn’t it true? The people who already know you, who see your life up close.
That core group of 8 to 15 people with whom you’re already doing life. Your closest friends, family, neighbors, colleagues – your inner circle.
The very people God wants to equip you to be an instrument of His grace for. That’s a powerful thought, isn’t it?
A mini-version of the whole world, the very world Jesus came to save, so that everyone who believes in Him can truly live life to the fullest.
What grabbed me about this Oikos Principle was its beautiful simplicity. It just clicks. It feels right. Here’s what I’m really enjoying about it:
It’s rooted in the Bible. This isn’t some trendy new idea; it echoes how Jesus Himself invested deeply in a small group, and how the early church spread like wildfire through natural connections.
It’s the pattern Jesus set and the early church embraced. That gives it some serious weight, doesn’t it?
It’s crystal clear. No complicated formulas or endless steps. Just your people.
It’s wonderfully simple. And in our complex world, isn’t that refreshing?
It’s easily reproducible. Anyone can do this, right where they are, with who they already know.
It’s inherently fruitful. Authentic relationships are fertile ground for the seeds of the Gospel.
But here’s where I get a little… frustrated, maybe? There’s this little voice in the back of my head, a cultural bias I see creeping into how we respond to ideas like this:
We tend to raise an eyebrow at anything that isn’t super “sophisticated.” Like, if it’s not a ten-week program with a workbook and a leader’s guide, we might subconsciously think it’s not “deep enough.”
We have this weird habit of wanting to “own” ideas. We like to repackage things and present them as our own brilliant innovation, sometimes missing the beauty of a simple, effective principle that’s already out there.
And then there’s the classic: “That works over there, but not here.” As if the fundamental human need for connection and the power of genuine relationships somehow change based on zip code.
Honestly, I think we might be overthinking this whole disciple-making thing. Maybe the most powerful way to share Jesus and help others grow in their faith isn’t through elaborate programs, but through the genuine, everyday connections we already have.
So, here’s my honest recommendation, friend to friend. For the price of a latte or two ($10.97 on Amazon, last I checked!), grab a copy of “8 to 15.” Read it with an open heart. Pray about it. And then? Try it out. Start looking at your “Oikos” – those 8 to 15 people God has already placed in your life. What if disciple-making wasn’t this huge, daunting task, but simply about intentionally loving and investing in the people right around you?
I have a feeling it might just be the key to unlocking a more natural, relational, and yes, even simpler way to see God’s Kingdom grow, one relationship at a time.
What are your thoughts? Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments below!
Can you think of a time when you were faced with an uncomfortable conversation? What did you do to overcome your discomfort? And when you did, how clearly could you communicate your desires and assert your perspective?
I was confronted with a very difficult situation that forced me to assert myself in a delicate conversation; it was fraught with layers of complexity. Through lots of prayer, thoughtful conversations, and guidance, I was able to clarify what I wanted for the people involved, but it did not come easily. What I learned has served me well over the years, and I have applied it to my challenging conversations since that time, many, many years ago. One tool that helped me understand how to make the shift I need to make was a 2X2 diagram that identifies four styles of assertiveness. It is the combination of all four where a balance is struck, but not EVERY situation will seek the same balance or allotted emphasis. I hope you find the explanation helpful below.
Unpacking the Assertiveness 2X2
Horizontal Axis = Level of EMPATHY.
Empathy Level (left to right) – Low to High
Vertical Axis = Level of ENERGY.
Energy Level (top to bottom) – High to Low
Four Assertiveness Styles
Aggressively Controlling – HIGH ENERGY + LOW EMPATHY (upper left quadrant)
Passively Observing – LOW ENERGY + LOW EMPATHY (lower left quadrant)
Warmly Proposing – LOW ENERGY + HIGH EMPATHY (lower right quadrant)
Firmly Asserting – HIGH ENERGY + HIGH EMPATHY (upper right quadrant)
Like I said earlier, there is no ONE correct style that works in EVERY situation, but like I experienced, I needed to know where I should give greater emphasis, given the dynamics I was facing in the difficult conversation I had. Using the 2X2 above, this is how I most naturally function. My most natural styles I exercise are in the following order:
Passively Observing
Firmly Asserting
Warmly Proposing
Aggressively Controlling
The shift(s) I made, given my natural style, were to:
Lower my Passively Observing by being more verbally engaged
Increase my Firmly Asserting style by being more proactive and empathetic
Increase my Aggressively Controlling style by being more commanding and confident.
And finally, maintain my Warmly Proposing style.
Here are reflection questions I used to help me arrive at the shifts I exercised.
Reflection Questions to Adapt your Assertiveness Style
How can I respectfully communicate what I want in this conversation?
What am I willing to do to get what I want?
What am I unwilling to do?
How can I put myself in the other person’s situation so I can understand their view?
How can I project more confidence?
Where do I need to be more pro-active?
What do I need to do to show I am listening carefully?
These are some of the questions that I found helpful. Take time right now and brainstorm some questions of your own if you are approaching a difficult conversation. Below are a couple of resources you might find helpful to learn more about Assertiveness.
You’re likely familiar with Stephen Covey’s influential book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” which outlines key principles for personal effectiveness. Just as Covey’s framework provides a roadmap for individual growth, we can consider the essential “habits” of a growing disciple of Jesus. The core of discipleship is often summarized as loving God, loving others, and making disciples – a seemingly straightforward directive.
However, the how of achieving this, particularly in a diverse and nuanced context like America, requires careful consideration and adaptation. While movements of rapid disciple multiplication thrive in various parts of the world, simply transplanting their methodologies without cultural sensitivity can be ineffective. Take, for instance, Discovery Bible Study (DBS). While the underlying principles of engaging Scripture and fostering obedience are powerful, the direct imposition of a specific DBS structure might not resonate within certain American settings. The key lies in discerning the foundational principles behind such approaches and then creatively expressing them in culturally relevant ways.
What is wrong with confession of sin?
Consider the vital practice of confession. Scripture clearly emphasizes the need for believers to acknowledge their shortcomings. Yet, directly calling individuals out to confess sin in an American context might yield unintended results. What flourishes in one culture may falter in another. The challenge, then, becomes one of contextualization. In the church plant where Gina and I serve, we’re experimenting with a more relational approach to fostering this habit of spiritual formation. Instead of direct calls for confession, our small groups utilize questions designed to gently guide individuals toward self-reflection and accountability, including:
What’s one truth from God’s Word that you want to hold onto this week?
What invitation do you sense the Holy Spirit offering you today?
What will you do about that?
Following this, individuals pair up to share their intended actions, and their partners commit to a follow-up conversation the following week. The insight here is that in our American context, the concept of addressing sin and growth often benefits from a gradual introduction using the language of spiritual formation and mutual support.
What are the essential habits of a growing disciple?
So, what are some essential habits that characterize a growing disciple in any context, but which require thoughtful adaptation in America? Here are a few key patterns:
Bible Study: A growing disciple consistently engages with Scripture to understand God’s Word and its practical application to their life. In an American context, this might involve diverse formats beyond traditional study groups, catering to different learning styles and schedules.
Confession: A growing disciple identifies areas in their life that conflict with Scripture and, with the Holy Spirit’s guidance, shares these with trusted fellow believers. As discussed, the expression of this habit in America often benefits from relational approaches and a gradual integration of spiritual formation language.
Making Disciples: A growing disciple actively participates in helping others discover and follow Jesus. In America, this might necessitate creative outreach methods that connect with diverse communities and address specific cultural nuances.
Service: A growing disciple identifies and utilizes their spiritual gifts to serve others. How service is expressed can vary widely in American culture, from formal volunteering to informal acts of kindness within one’s sphere of influence.
Fellowship: A growing disciple cultivates meaningful relationships with other Jesus followers, sharing life together. Building authentic community can be challenging in a busy and individualistic society like America, requiring intentionality and the creation of welcoming spaces.
Where can you grow in your disciple-making journey?
To help you reflect on how these habits are manifesting in your own life or ministry, consider the following assessment. On a scale of 1 (almost never) to 5 (almost always), how would you rate your congregation, small group, ministry team, or your own life in practicing these five habits of a growing disciple?
Take a moment to reflect on your assessment.
What did you learn from this exercise? What steps might you consider taking as a result? What specific invitation do you sense the Holy Spirit extending to you in this area?
InFocus has developed a simple quiz to further assist you and those you lead in identifying areas of growth in their disciple-making journey. If you’re interested in taking this free quiz, you can CLICK HERE.
Furthermore, if you’d like to discuss your results or explore these ideas in more detail, I’m available for a free, 25-minute coaching conversation. Please email Samantha at admin@infocusnet.org to schedule an appointment.
Hard to believe that Holy week is just around the corner. What are you doing to lead people into their journey with Jesus? Below are 3 reflection questions to consider as you lead your people into Holy Week.
What is the significance of Holy Week?
I grew up in a home that valued following Jesus, and Holy Week was a part of our church practice. To be honest, when I was younger, I did not understand why we went to church on a Thursday, kind of understood Friday, and genuinely got the meaning of Easter. Reluctantly, I went to services, although I was not an active participant.
My earliest memories of Easter included Sunrise service (if we were super motivated). Instead of gathering at our campus for services, we traveled to a local high school football stadium where we combined the services into one big celebration. The worship director and his team pulled out all the stops; the pastor preached the gospel. The entire morning was intended for people to invite their friends and relatives with the hope that they might hear the gospel and respond. It is forever engraved in my memory.
If you grew up in a church environment, are leading in a liturgical congregational setting, or are educated in the rhythms of the church calendar – this will be boring and redundant. But if Holy Week is fuzzy in your mind or you are curious, hopefully this blog might fill in some gaps. Let’s get started!
Holy Week is the week beginning with the Sunday immediately leading up to Easter.
Day 1: Triumphal Entry on Palm Sunday
Day 2: Jesus Clears the Temple on Monday
Day 3: Jesus Goes to the Mount of Olives on Tuesday
Day 4: Holy Wednesday
Day 5: Passover and Last Supper on Maundy Thursday
Day 6: Trial, Crucifixion, Death, and Burial on Good Friday
Day 7: Saturday in the Tomb
Why is this important?
Most churches in the West give their attention to Holy Week. In addition to Christmas, Easter is the prime weekend to invite people to a worship service. Many people who have never been to church are more likely to show up if invited by a trusting friend or relative; Easter still holds religious connotations in our culture.
Typically, as churches strive to be relevant to their constituents in the name of “effectiveness,” many have put Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, and Good Friday services in the background. The reasons are many, varied, and rational. At the same time, the rhythms and traditions that are lost can hurt the next generation because these events are like muscles that, when under-utilized, atrophy! Memories are short-lived.
Back to the point. Easter is a wonderful time to invite people to church. Even if your church is not a classic seeker church, this time of the year is strategic for church attendance.
3 Questions To Consider When Preparing for Holy Week
What practices can you introduce to your people?
What tools are you putting in people’s hands to make invitations easy?
What are you doing to imprint Jesus on the next generation?
What are you doing to make services inviting for visitors to your church?
How are you following up with people who come to your services?
Lent Challenge – Week 5 of Lent!
As we journey through the weeks leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion and eventual resurrection, I will draw from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The exercises have helped me and many, many others throughout church history to listen to and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, especially when discerning direction.
I invite you to consider the “grace” (or “prayer of intent”) for this week:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
May I suggest you read through the following passages on this schedule beginning next Monday:
Let’s begin with terminology. A contemplative is someone who intentionally sets time aside to be with God, engaging and listening to Him. A contemplative practice is a discipline, exercise, approach, or tool to engage and listen to God.
How are contemplative practices different from the way I read the Bible and pray – or other spiritual disciplines?
In my experience, the ”typical” approach to reading the Bible, etc, is to transform beliefs. And this is obviously very, very valuable.
Contemplative practices are focused on spiritual formation. Yes, these two worlds overlap, but they can also be very different. Spiritual formation results in a transformation in the mind, body, and soul. It is fair to think of the “typical evangelical” approach as a precursor to contemplative practices. Not better, but different.
Before I lose you, let’s distill this down to an essential practice of “capturing intrusive or negative thoughts” (II Corinthians 10:5; Ephesians 4:23-24; Col 3:9-11). When you study the Desert Fathers and consider the depth of wisdom they gleaned in their monastic practices, you will see a continuity between evangelicalism and contemplative practice. Skip to the bottom to learn how to Capture Intrusive or Negative thoughts.
The mind is the gateway to the heart. Reading scripture and prayer can be a wonderful gateway into contemplative practice. Read on to learn how to establish new rhythms for spiritual formation in your life.
Where do I start with contemplative practices?
Begin with where you are. But how do you know where you are? This is a legitimate question.
It is easy to get overwhelmed when you consider where to start. If you have tried to develop a new hobby, you can relate. Pick a hobby, any hobby. Let’s say you want to learn how to maintain your mountain bike. One of the first jobs you want to learn is how to clean and lube your chain. This is essential. Perhaps you watch a video or read a blog, and you learn what tools are needed. The essentials include a cleaning agent (like Simple Green), rags, and lubricant. Once you have what you need, you execute. You might feel like you don’t exactly know what you are doing, but you do your best.
Spray the chain with a cleaning agent, wipe it down, and repeat a couple of times.
Once it dries, you apply the lubricant on the chain one link at a time.
Let it sit overnight.
Wipe off before you ride.
You are good to go.
With regular practice, you become more comfortable with the process. Repetition creates familiarity; familiarity breeds habits.
Contemplative practices work in a similar manner.
3 Lessons I’ve Learned About Engaging in Contemplative Practices
Create the space in your schedule to be with God
Intent is key, and that means scheduling a designated time in your daily routine. Guard it with your heart and mind. It does not matter when, but find a time that works for you to be quiet and attentive.
Do more with less
Start with a time limit, and stick to it. If it is 5 minutes, then consistently show up. Repetition is key. It is like going to the gym. For years, when we were raising our family, I dragged myself to the gym at 5 in the morning even when I was tired, had sick kids, or didn’t feel like going. That discipline has formed a habit that I can draw from today.
Ask for help
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the willingness to seek help. Once I recognized my need for help, AND sought out people who had more experience,I was able to make progress. In my case, I was able to connect with a spiritual director. You might need a spiritual friend or listener. I discovered when I engaged in direction, that things changed quickly .
5 Steps to Capture Intrusive or Negative Thoughts
Designate a time, preferably first thing in the morning, to give your attention to God
Sit in silence for 5 minutes
Pray the Jesus Prayer (see below)
Capture intrusive or negative thoughts throughout the course of your day
Determine if you want to accept or reject the thought
Lent Challenge – Week 4 of Lent!
As we journey through the weeks leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion and eventual resurrection, I will draw from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The exercises have helped me and many, many others throughout church history to listen to and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, especially when discerning direction.
I invite you to consider the “grace” (or “prayer of intent”) for this week:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
May I suggest you read through the following passages on this schedule beginning next Monday:
Day 1 – Mark 15:33-36
Day 2 – Isaiah 53:3-6
Day 3 – Luke 23:44-46
Day 4 – Review the past three days.
Day 5 – John 19:30
Day 6 – Luke 23:47-49
Day 7 – Review the past week.
* Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner
The Jesus Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
The invitation the Lord presents is to simply carve out time for Him. That is really the essence of spiritual formation. Intent!
The Jesus Prayer is a simple and memorable prayer to be present with Jesus that combines three Bible verses:
Luke 18:9–14, in which the Pharisee demonstrates the improper way to pray (verse 11: “God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican”), whereas the Publican prays correctly in humility (verse 13: “God be merciful to me a sinner”).
The answer is – “You shouldn’t!” Unless you understand the “why?”
Below I attempt to explain the intent, desire, and purpose behind this week’s grace from the pen of St. Ignatius:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
Sitting in the uncomfortable posture of Jesus’ suffering is not life-giving; it is difficult to contemplate the period of time leading up to His crucifixion. Jesus suffered in his humanity. He prayed to His Father to “take this cup from me”, “being in anguish”, with“his sweat like drops of blood”, and then expressing disappointment with His disciples when they fell asleep (Luke 22:39-46).
We lean towards the last week of Christ: Maundy Thursday, followed by Good Friday, and finally Easter – because suffering is uncomfortable!.
3 problems when you skip through Holy Week and rush to Easter.
Ignores Christ’s Humanity
It is a serious oversight when we see a film, read a passage, or are entertained by a dramatic portrayal of the suffering Christ because nothing can capture the true indignity, pain, and turmoil Christ experienced. This is one reason Lent is so valuable. It causes us to slow things down. Read scripture. Reflect. Pray. Imagine what it was like for Him over a prolonged period of time. Not a brief, momentary exposure of another’s interpretation.
Overfocuses on Christ’s Divinity
Culturally it is comfortable to celebrate; it is uncomfortable to suffer. It is natural to gravitate to Easter. It is easier to follow the narrative leading to the resurrection; difficult to sit in the uncomfortable space of seeing Jesus tormented, tortured,and abused. But that is precisely the part of the gospel story that needs equal attention. The more we engage with His suffering, the more human Jesus becomes.
Undervalues the Sacrifice Christ Made on Behalf of All Creation
When we grasp that Jesus was and is fully human, then we can appreciate His divinity differently. I read this line from a book recently entitled Gentle and Lowly by Dane Orland that caused me to stop and think:
“The Son of God clothed himself with humanity and will never unclothe himself”.
Jesus did not unclothe Himself after the resurrection. Orland further says:
“One implication of this truth of Christ’s permanent humanity is that when we see the feeling and passions and affections of the incarnate Christ toward sinners and sufferers as given to us in the four Gospels, we are seeing who Jesus is for us today.”
Jesus has not put His humanity aside, nor has He put His divinity aside; He knows your suffering, intimately.
7 Reasons to Engage in the Suffering of Jesus
It will expand your ability to understand Jesus’ divinity.
It will grow your capacity to empathize with people.
It will help you navigate the sense of feeling overwhelmed.
It will create greater openness to reach out for help.
It will allow you to see different sides of a problem you face.
It will allow you to see different sides of a problem other people face.
Lent Challenge – Week 3 of Lent!
As we journey through the weeks leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion and eventual resurrection, I will draw from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The exercises have helped me and many, many others throughout church history to listen to and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, especially when discerning direction.
I invite you to consider the “grace” (or “prayer of intent”) for this week:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
May I suggest you read through the following passages on this schedule beginning next Monday:
Day 1 – Matthew 27:32-44
Day 2 – Luke 23:33-44
Day 3 – Philippians 2:5-8
Day 4 – Review the past three days.
Day 5 – Luke 23:38-43
Day 6 – John 19:25-27
Day 7 – Review the past week.
* Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner
10 Ways to Walk Through Lent
It’s not too late to take up a spiritual practice for Lent! Winfield Bevins has several ideas for how to make room in your life to grow closer to God in his article, including:
The invitation the Lord presents is to simply carve out time for Him. That is really the essence of spiritual formation- being intentional. It is up to you to take the next step.
Since the fall of 2020, I have been on a steep learning curve in spiritual formation. That is, I have intentionally engaged in the process of learning from the Desert Fathers, Mothers, and influential Jesus followers—ancient practices that have survived the crucible of time. Part of that journey has been engaging in the Ignatian Exercises with a spiritual director.
The purpose of the Ignatian Exercises is for spiritual discernment in making decisions.
Aren’t The Exercises outdated?
Though Ignatius lived over 470 years ago, his life and the spiritual insights he gained have stood the test of time. They have been critiqued, criticized, and discounted; however, they have been passed down through the generations. My experience is that this is a tool that has helped me engage in my spiritual formation, so I want to share it with you!
But I’ve heard they’re problematic…
You’re right, there are some things to consider:
It’s a bit “old school”: Ignatius was a soldier, so his orientation to spirituality is coming from a male perspective and specifically from the view of a young man who was seriously injured in battle, convalescing, and reflecting on his life. During that time he read two influential books: Ludolph the Carthusian’s Life of Christ and Jacobus de Voragine’s The Book of the Lives of the Saints. If you would like more background on Ignatius, I recommend reading the brief biography of Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner.
It has a Catholic vibe: Ignatius was Catholic, so there are references to saints and certain Catholic beliefs, but you can adapt it to your own faith journey. Think of it as using a framework that you personalize and adapt to evangelical theology.
It’s structured: Some people find that too rigid, but let’s be honest, most of us could use a little more structure in our spiritual lives. It’s like having a map when you’re lost.
It uses imagination: Yes, you’ll be asked to imagine scenes from the Bible or your own life. Some worry that this is dangerous, but when done in the context of scripture, it can be a powerful tool to connect with your faith.
Why is this helpful?
When making decisions, it is helpful to have a process that has a strong discernment component embedded in it to engage the mind and the soul. You are probably familiar with secular decision-making processes such as the decision-making tree, writing a list of pros vs. cons, or various prioritization exercises. I have discovered that when I only use my mind, I run the risk of missing out on other aspects God wants me to engage to gain the greatest benefit.
I wrote a blog entitled How to Make a Prayerful Decision that outlines the process I adapted, with the help of my spiritual director.
7 Benefits of Spiritual Discernment When Making Decisions
It helps you stay curious. Instead of thinking you know everything, you’re open to new ideas.
It helps you consider all your options. You don’t just jump at the first thing that comes to mind.
It helps you stay focused. You don’t get sidetracked by distractions.
It encourages you to ask for help. You don’t have to do it alone.
It helps you seek what’s truly best. Not just what’s easy or convenient.
It helps you stay humble. You remember that you’re not in control.
Lent Challenge – Week 3 of Lent!
As we journey through the weeks leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion and eventual resurrection, I will draw from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The exercises have helped me and many, many others throughout church history to listen to and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, especially when discerning direction.
I invite you to consider the “grace” (or “prayer of intent”) for this week:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
May I suggest you read through the following passages on this schedule beginning next Monday:
Day 1 – Matthew 26:57-68
Day 2 – Matthew 26:69-75
Day 3 – Luke 23:1-7
Day 4 – Review the past three days.
Day 5 – Luke 23:8-12
Day 6 – Luke 23:13-25
Day 7 – Review the past week.
* Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner
The invitation the Lord presents is to simply carve out time for Him. That is really the essence of spiritual formation. Being intentional. It is up to you to take the next step.
“Interestingly, by intentionally practicing spiritual disciplines, my relationship with Jesus has become more spontaneous.”
Dallas Willard
Sounds like an oxymoron!
Can you relate? The more you do a certain thing, the better you can respond in the moment. Especially through regular, disciplined practice.
For example, I ride mountain bikes. 30+ years ago when I first started riding, I learned the importance of looking forward vs. looking down, leaning into turns instead of slowing down, and the keys to good balance. Now I am much more able to remain in the moment, anticipate obstacles ahead, and leverage my momentum. The discipline of riding over 8,000 miles and climbing over 100,000 feet since 2016 (which is when I began logging miles on Strava) has contributed to my ability to become more agile, responsive, and spontaneous on the trails.
Practicing spiritual disciplines works in a similar manner. The more hours you put in, the more familiar you become to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit – until His voice becomes the dominant voice you hear, listen to, and obey. This is the goal of Christian spiritual formation.
At the bottom of this blog is a challenge for Week 2 of Lent!
Before you go there, let’s focus on three common disciplines during Lent:
Sabbath Rest: Take time to disconnect and recharge.
Silence: Find moments of quiet to listen to God.
Fasting: Explore how less can lead to more.
What are the benefits?
Sabbath Rest: You feel more alive.
Silence: You will discover new opportunities to engage with Jesus throughout the day.
Fasting: You will cleanse your body of impurities that clutter your heart and mind.
How does discipline lead to spontaneity?
Great question! Discipline feeds new habits. New habits feed new behaviors. New behaviors feed creative responses. Spiritual formation works the same way.
What difference does it make?
Another great question! I believe there is a correlation between spiritual formation and ministry fruit. The disciplines I have engaged with and practiced alongside my ministry development gives me the ability to discover creative solutions, inspired by the Holy Spirit.
What does that look like?
I have a project that I am working on with a team that involves a disciple-making and leader development process. We have clarified the vision of when we know we have been successful, then worked backwards, breaking down the problem into manageable pieces. Now that we have the manageable pieces, we can address each one, one-by-one, making adjustments as necessary.
Lent Challenge – Week 2 of Lent!
As we journey through the weeks leading up to Jesus’ crucifixion and eventual resurrection, I will draw from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The exercises have helped me and many, many others throughout church history to listen to and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, especially when discerning direction.
I invite you to consider the “grace” (or “prayer of intent”) for this week:
“The grace you are seeking is to sorrow with Christ in sorrow, anguish with Christ in anguish, with tears and interior suffering because of the suffering Christ endured for you.”
St. Ignatius (1491-1556)
Perhaps you read through the following passages on this schedule beginning next Monday:
Day 1 – Matthew 26:36-41
Day 2 – Luke 22: 39-44
Day 3 – Matthew 26:47-54
Day 4 – Review the past three days.
Day 5 – Matthew 26:55-56
Day 6 – John 18:12-27
Day 7 – Review the past week.
* Journey with Jesus by Larry Warner
The invitation the Lord presents to you, is unique to you. If you are reading this blog, chances are you are searching. Chances are you want a change. Chances are you are desiring a different outcome. If so, the Lord’s invitation might be for you to engage differently than you have in the past. Take courage! He desires more and more of you. He is not passively waiting; He desires to connect with you. He is urging you to take the next step.
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