In my last post, I wrestled with the complexities we often impose on discipleship in American churches. We can get so caught up in finding the “perfect” program or the most innovative strategy that we inadvertently dismiss the simple, relational heart of following Jesus and inviting others to do the same. We sometimes discount approaches that aren’t our own or believe that what works elsewhere will “never work here.” (You can catch up on that conversation by clicking HERE.)
But today, I want to move beyond the critique and get practical. What can you do, whether you’re a pastor, a church leader, or simply a follower of Christ, to genuinely engage people in their spiritual journey towards finding and following Jesus? I believe the answer lies not in more complicated systems, but in a return to the foundational power of relationships.
Towards the end of this article, I’ll introduce a simple tool to help you take immediate action. If you’re ready to discover The Oikos Principle, feel free to skip ahead!
The Peril of Mission Drift
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on a concept introduced in Tom Mercer’s book, “8 to 15, The World Is Smaller Than You Think.” In the chapter aptly titled “The Main Thing,” Mercer highlights our vulnerability to “mission drift” – that slow, often unintentional movement away from our core purpose towards activities that, while perhaps good in themselves, distract us from what truly matters.
He uses a striking example: the original founding mission statement of Harvard University:
“To be plainly instructed and consider well that the main end of your life and studies is to know God and Jesus Christ.”
While Harvard remains a prestigious academic institution, it’s undeniable that their primary focus has shifted dramatically. Mercer suggests that the church in America can also fall prey to this mission drift. It’s not about intentional malice, but a natural human tendency. As churches grow and expand, or conversely, when facing stagnation, there’s a pull towards the familiar, the comfortable, potentially losing sight of the core mission of making disciples.
Mercer then shares compelling statistics from Dr. Tom Reiner’s research in “Ten Surprises About the Unchurched.” Reiner and his team spent three years interviewing a diverse cross-section of unchurched and non-Christian individuals across all 50 states. Their findings debunked some common myths:
DeBunking Myths About the Unchurched
- Most of the unchurched feel guilty about not attending church. (False)
- 96% of the unchurched are at least somewhat likely to attend church if they are invited. (True!)
- Very few of the unchurched have ever had someone share with them how to become a Christian. (Alarmingly True)
- Most of the unchurched have a positive view of pastors and the church. (Encouragingly True)
- Many of the unchurched have a church background. (Reveals a potential for reconnection)
- Some types of cold calls are effective, but many are not. (Highlights the need for relational approaches)
- The unchurched would like to develop a real and sincere relationship with Christians. (This is key!)
- The attitudes of the unchurched are not correlated to where they live, their ethnic or racial background, or their gender. (Underlines the universal need for connection)
- Many of the unchurched are far more concerned about the spiritual well-being of their children than they are about themselves. (A powerful point of connection)
These findings paint a clear picture: the unchurched aren’t necessarily hostile to faith or the church. In fact, a significant majority are open to an invitation and desire a genuine connection with Christians. The real gap often lies in the lack of personal invitation and the absence of individuals sharing their faith.
Taking Action: Embracing The Oikos Principle
So, what can we do in response to these insights? We can take action, and one powerful way to do that is by applying The Oikos Principle. As I mentioned earlier (and elaborated on in my previous blog – CLICK HERE), this principle, highlighted by Mercer, focuses on the power of our existing relationships.
“Oikos” is a Greek word that refers to a person’s household, family, and close network of relationships. The Oikos Principle encourages us to intentionally engage the people already in our sphere of influence. Here are the five steps Mercer outlines:
The Oikos Principle
- LIST your oikos: Identify those 8-15 people with whom you have developed, are developing, or perhaps should develop relational equity. These are your friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, and acquaintances.
- PRAY daily for your oikos: Commit to praying specifically for each person on your list, asking that they would sense God’s presence in their lives and be open to His love.
- INVEST in your oikos: Look for meaningful ways to be present in their lives, show genuine care, and build deeper connections. Be God’s instrument by demonstrating His love through your actions.
- INVITE them: As God opens doors of opportunity, thoughtfully and regularly invite them to church or into other faith-based conversations. This should flow naturally from the investment you’ve already made in the relationship.
- PREPARE to become a better example of faith in Christ and a more effective witness of His grace: Recognize that your own spiritual growth is crucial. As you deepen your relationship with Christ, you become a more authentic and compelling witness.
This isn’t about implementing a new, complex program. It’s about leveraging the relationships God has already given you. It’s about seeing your everyday interactions as potential opportunities for Kingdom impact.
Putting It Into Practice
For me personally, I’ve taken this principle to heart. I ride mountain bikes twice a week with a group of guys I’ve known for several years. I’ve written their names on an Oikos Principle card* (which you can download for yourself* – CLICK HERE) and am intentionally praying for them daily. Our church is hosting a Men’s Breakfast next month, and I plan to thoughtfully invite some of these individuals to join me. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it builds upon existing relationships.
The Oikos Principle isn’t a magic formula, but it’s a powerful reminder that discipleship often starts in our own backyards, within the circles of influence God has already entrusted to us. By intentionally loving, serving, and inviting those in our oikos, we can move beyond the complexities and rediscover the relational heart of sharing the love of Jesus.
If you’re ready to take the next step and explore The Oikos Principle further, CLICK HERE for more information! Let’s reclaim the simple, yet profound, power of relational discipleship.
*Used with permission
Photo by Clayton Cardinalli on Unsplash
