by Gary Reinecke | Aug 15, 2017 | Disciplemaking, Leader Development, Personal Development |
I began coaching in 1988 – 30 years ago.
The term coaching was introduced in the early 1980’s in the business arena and re-invented in the ministry world – especially in church planting circles during the late 1980’s. Coaching has evolved from a new idea to a best practice in most ministry networks where leaders are developed, congregations are becoming healthy, and new churches are planted. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to coach leaders to start all kinds of churches and pioneer disciplemaking movements.
Lessons I’ve gleaned:
So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the spiritual (Discern the will of the Father and help those you coach, do the same), relational (Value the other person) and personal (Embrace your unique contribution) foundations of coaching. This week I shift the focus to the interpersonal foundation of the leader or team you coach.
Lesson #4 – You can’t want something for someone else, more than they want it themselves
I love attending The Global Leadership Summit hosted by The Willowcreek Association every August. It is THE gathering of leadership experts from the business (secular) and ministry (sacred) arenas. In fact, in 2008 I invited my son Joel (who was 12 at the time) and my daughter Zoe (at about the same age) a few years later, to share the experience with me. This has become our highlight of the year – bar none. I would encourage you to attend this event with your team next year.
This year we heard Angela Duckworth speak on the topic of “grit” from her research and book entitled “Grit – The Power of Passion and Perseverance”. She is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and founder of Character Lab, a nonprofit whose mission is to advance the practice of character development. I am taking the idea of grit and relating it to the “commitment level” of a leader.
Duckworth defines “grit” as sustained passion and perseverance for long-term goals. She further explained that passion and perseverance stood out in her research based on responses to the following:
Perseverance:
- I am a hard worker
- I finish what I start
Passion:
- My interests change from year to year
- It is difficult for me to stay focused on projects more than a couple of months
The good news is that “grit”, according to Duckworth, can be developed.
How does this apply to coaching?
I’ve discovered that when a person has true grit, it is an extremely different experience vs. a person lacking this quality. When the commitment level is commensurate to the task at hand, then the person has the “grit” to succeed. Duckworth said it like this: Skill x Effort = Achievement. Let me illustrate, with my wife’s experience as a health coach.
When Gina coaches an individual on their journey to health, she asks the person to define their “why” with a question: “Why do you want to lose weight and gain health?” The answers are varied and normally require further reflection to clarify, for instance: “I want to lose weight to be able to touch my toes” – might be the initial response. Upon further reflection, that person may realize the deeper motivation is to be able to play with their grand-children and not be sidelined prematurely. The more Gina helps people unpack their “why” the more they can tap into their intrinsic motivation. The challenge for the health coach (Gina), is managing her expectations.
Let’s circle back around and bring this into a ministry context. Imagine a leader you have coached. The lead pastor/planter/team leader is challenged to change direction at a critical juncture in the development of the church they lead and ask for coaching. It is imperative that you assess their commitment level. This will determine if they are willing and able to make the shift.
A common shift that I have coached leaders through is the place disciplemaking groups play in their church, e.g. will they be a church with small groups or “of” small groups. Many will say “yes” to the latter but do not fully understand the cost organizationally, and to their leadership. The more established the church, the more challenging this shift.
Here is the reason I am explaining this concept of “grit” as it relates to coaching. Once you identify the motivation or “why” a person wants to influence a change along with their level of commitment, you as their coach must not want it more than them. Plain and simple. Once you establish their motivation + commitment, the best way to serve them is to meet them where they are.
If you cross that invisible line and reveal that you actually want “it” more than they do, you have entered the “struggle to be you” zone of coaching. The s2bU zone is when you have lost objectivity and put yourself in the seat of the leader you are coaching. In effect, you are coaching yourself – don’t do this! It is not helpful to the person, it is embarrassing for you, and is the quickest way to unravel a coaching relationship. I know; I have crossed this line before, and these risks are real.
Here is a checklist to keep you from entering the S2bU zone:
Regarding your client:
- What does this person want to achieve?
- Do they understand what it requires?
- How do you assess their commitment level?
Regarding you:
- What adjustments do you need to make to adapt to their commitment level?
- Do you want this more than them?
Next week I will share another insight that I’ve learned as the Lord has allowed me to partner with leaders who are making a significant contribution to the work of cultivating disciplemaking movements.
by Gary Reinecke | Aug 4, 2017 | Focused Ministry, Leader Development, Personal Development, Uncategorized |
I began coaching in 1988. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to coach leaders to start all kinds of churches & pioneer disciple-making movements. I’ve learned many lessons from coaching some of the most amazingly gifted, truly faithful & hard-working leaders serving in the Lord’s Church today.
Lessons that I’ve gleaned:
So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the spiritual foundation (Lesson #1: Discern the will of the Father and helping those you coach, do the same) the relational foundation (Lesson #2: Value the other person) of coaching. This week, I focus on the personal foundation.
Lesson #3 – Embrace your unique contribution
Each of us has a unique contribution God has designed us to make. This is not a pre-destination issue – it is a design issue. Based on your unique design, what is your contribution?
When I first began coaching I was 28 years-old, recently graduated from seminary and single. One of many mentors the Lord used in my life modeled the kind of ministry I sensed God calling me, so I asked him if I could carry his bags to assist him on any upcoming projects. Over the next few years I immersed myself in learning all I could on church growth, leadership development, church planting & multiplication. This led me to pursue my doctorate through Fuller Seminary where I received my DMin at the age of 32.
During those early years I was developing the skills of a coach, trainer and consultant with the singular focus of starting healthy churches that reproduce. The more I refined my unique contribution the more I sensed God’s pleasure. It was, and remains, an ongoing process of stretching myself by taking measured risks, reflecting on the experience and assessing the fruitfulness of the work.
This three-step process of action – reflection – evaluation has served me well. Of course it is never as clear as it may appear in writing, but, the process does work itself out if you are committed to discovering your unique contribution. To help you through that process here is a list of 9 questions to help you refine your Unique Contribution so that you can more faithfully steward the gifts the Lord has given you.
Unique Contributions Reflection Questions:
Self Examination:
- What am I passionate about?
- What abilities have I demonstrated that produce fruitful results?
- What spiritual gifts fuel these skills & abilities?
Feedback from others:
- What positive feedback do people share with me?
- What skills do people consistently affirm in me?
- What impact do these skills have on other people?
Spiritual Litmus Test
- How do I measure effectiveness?
- What activities leave me energized?
- When do I sense God’s pleasure most?
Next week I will share another lesson that I’ve learned as the Lord has allowed me to partner with leaders who are making a significant contribution to the work of cultivating disciplemaking movements.
by Gary Reinecke | Mar 18, 2017 | Coach Training, Leader Development, Personal Development, Uncategorized |
I rely on trusted and reliable feedback in my coaching, training & consulting.
One practice I’ve found helpful is to administer a brief survey at the conclusion of my coaching relationships, for instance. Based on that input I gain a sense of where my strengths and weaknesses lie.
Not surprisingly, executives (including pastors, church planters & missionaries) also value feedback. I read an article written by David F. Larcker, Stephen Miles, Brian Tayan, Michelle E. Gutman – published by The Miles Group and Stanford University. August 2013 (used with permission) that highlighted this point. The 2013 Executive Coaching Survey suggests:
Nearly 66% of CEOs do not receive coaching or leadership advice from outside consultants or coaches, while 100% of them stated that they are receptive to making changes based on feedback.
Feedback can be helpful. But it is really up to the individual what she/he does with it. If the data confirms the evidence then leaders will respond accordingly. In contrast, if that leader does not resonate with the feedback, then it is wise to reject it.
Let me give a quick example what I mean. I am coaching a young, competent leader. When we reviewed the feedback from a 360 degree assessment on his leadership effectiveness (see the Leadership menu) there were gaps between himself, his supervisor and his colleagues. Further, the gaps were not in a favorable direction. In other words, his self-perception was consistently higher, in several areas (I like it when it is the other way)! In response, this young leader took a curious approach. Curious what the variance in scores represented. And a proactive posture to address those variances in practical ways. Instead of making excuses, he determined to take action.
Remaining open to feedback is not always easy – but is an important trait of effective leaders.
by Gary Reinecke | Mar 4, 2017 | Coach Training, Disciplemaking, Personal Development |
Coaching a 40-something leader I discovered a significant difference when coaching his Gen X counterpart. My mature friend was focused on achieving his goals; however, he was not as concerned about his work-life balance in comparison to his younger counterpart. That insight informed ways I could engage each.
Further, while the goal they were both pursuing was similar, the path they took was very different. Both were eager to establish a new church or ministry.
With the more seasoned leader I asked more task-oriented, “what” kind of questions:
- What is your goal?
- What is in your way?
- What can you do to expand?
And more relational, “who” kind of questions with the younger planter:
- Who will it reach?
- Who could it miss?
- Who else can you include?
These are broad generalizations, yet subtle differences reveal different approaches to can engage different people from different generations.
For further insight in generational differences, see the following 1-page resources under Generational Differences:
- Generational Characteristics
- Generational Core Values
- Generational Leadership Style Preferences
- Generational Motivation Preferences
- Generational Team Preferences
- Generational Communication Preferences
by Gary Reinecke | Jan 17, 2017 | Disciplemaking, Leader Development, Personal Development |
A life-giving gift you can give those you coach is what I like to call “pruning”. I have found that the four categories below serve as a helpful guide to follow using Covey’s, “First Things First” matrix. Take a moment right now to review how you are using your time this week.
- Pull-out your calendar.
- Prioritize your scheduled activities in one of four categories:
- Quadrant I – Important & Urgent.
- Quadrant II – Important & Not Urgent.
- Quadrant III – Not Important & Urgent.
- Quadrant IV – Not Important & Not Urgent.
- How can you spend more of your time in Quadrant II in 2017?
Coveys’ point is that most of us spend too much time in Quadrants III & IV; to the neglect of Quadrant II. Imagine how this exercise might benefit the people you coach. Fast forward to December, if a leader doubled her or his time in Important & Not Urgent activities, what impact would it have on their:
- Personal development
- Disciplemaking
- Leader Development
Happy pruning!
by Gary Reinecke | Jan 3, 2017 | Coach Training, Disciplemaking, Leader Development, Personal Development |
I’ve found that one of the ways to help leaders learn how to coach is to first, be coached.
I remember serving as a coach mentor for a network of church planters. A leader in that group had a particular understanding of the posture of a coach that collided with the non-directive approach I was taking. If you mapped out a continuum with “non-directive” on the left side and “directive” on the right side – he was on the far right end.
Over the next couple of appointments I reinforced the power of coaching using a non-directive, self-discovery process until he came to the realization that he really did not like that style of coaching. He concluded that his advice-giving preference suited his personality. I agreed – but challenged him to call it something other than coaching When you experience what it is like then it is easier to embrace (if your goal is to facilitate a self-discovery process) or REJECT coaching.
Justifiably, there is room for confusion about coaching as it relates to developing leaders, disciplemaking and church planting. After-all, many people use the term “coaching” to describe what they do.
Here are three reasons why it is helpful for people to experience coaching:
- Put flesh to the coaching process e.g. it is difficult to understand what you have not experienced.
- Illustrate what makes coaching unique e.g. the power of “self-discovery” vs. receiving advice.
- Contrast other ways of helping people e.g. mentoring, counselling, consulting, etc.
Coaching tip of the month:
If your desire is to empower people – then use a process that allows the individual to discover and choose.
One of the best ways to take good intentions and move them to action is through coaching. If you are interested in taking your vision to the next level in 2017 please contact InFocus for an exploratory conversation. Please let us know how we can serve you.
