The Undeniable Connection between Emotional Intelligence and Coaching

by Gary Reinecke | Nov 8, 2021 | Coach Training, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Self-Assessing is the ability to understand our own strengths and weaknesses. It helps us adapt to new people and unfamiliar circumstances, to know when to take on new opportunities and to see when we are pushing ourselves towards unhealthy places. In today’s vernacular, the concept is best captured by the term Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Self-assessment begins by asking the question, “How self-aware are you?” or “How is my emotional intelligence?”

Problems that arise with low EQ:

1. You will miss subtle ques people send
2. You will take on more than you should
3. You will lose the ability to focus
4. You will become reactive
5. You will frustrate people
6. You will resent your work
7. You will begin to disengage from life-giving relationships

In 2010, my coaching ministry was on a growth trajectory. In my personal life, however, my family was going through a deep, dark tunnel that took both of my children through serious health challenges. I really did not navigate that season well on a personal level.  I was anxious about my kids’ health and did not know how to resolve my inability to “fix them” and allow God to be my source of strength.

We survived that season – but my faith was stretched to new limits. Ministry-wise, I showed up.  It was a wonderfully fruitful season with new opportunities, but if I were observing my emotional state from the outside, it would have looked like a train wreck. My mind constantly pondered the future scenarios with my kids’ struggles at the center. Thankfully, the Lord helped me, my wife, and our children survive and thrive in the years to come.

If I could have done a do-over that year, I would have desired to be more like Mary than Martha (John 15). I wish I would have spent more of my energy on “being with Jesus”  instead of “doing the work for Jesus.” Through this struggle, I learned the important lessons of maintaining margins and creating the bandwidth to do those things the Lord put before me. It meant focusing more intently on the Lord’s work and accepting what I could not control.

Here are three gauges that leaders must consider when they take a coach approach to assessing their own bandwidth:

• Emotional – Do I have the energy to give to this new opportunity?
• Physical – Am I in a good place with my exercise, sleep and diet?
• Spiritual – How would I describe the current condition of my soul?

My sense is most of us are running too fast. We are striving too hard. We are pushing the margins of our emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Take time today to assess your bandwidth. Find a friend to talk about how you can maintain margins in your life. Do the hard work of assessing your strengths and weaknesses as a leader who is taking a coach-approach to ministry.

In the following weeks I will take a deep-dive into the behavioral outcomes that make-up the competency of self-assessing.  If you are interested in a full explanation of how our team (namely Dr. Bob Logan & Dr. Chuck Ridley) arrived at the competencies of a Christian Coach – CLICK HERE. In case you missed it, last week we introduced a new resource for Christian Coaching – ChristianCoachingTools.com!

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Introducing a new resource for Christian Coaching!

by Gary Reinecke | Nov 2, 2021 | Coach Training, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Today is the day! We cannot be more excited to introduce you to an exciting new resource: Christian Coaching Tools!

We want to give you the opportunity to connect with the resources and training that have brought coaching competence and success to over 10,000 coaches in more than 100 countries—all in one place!

Introducing ChristianCoachingTools.com – whether you’re new to coaching or you have years of experience as a seasoned coach, we have something of value to share with you. Head on over to find the absolute best tools for Christian Coaching!

My vision for Christian coaching began in the home where I grew up. My parents nurtured my faith by listening intently to my questions and by asking me questions in return. My coaching skills were further honed through three distinct church experiences: a growing church, a new church plant, and a church in need of renewal.

Since 1988 I’ve been coaching and training leaders in coaching full-time! My focus in coaching has been to help leaders take a coach-approach to disciple making, leadership development, and church planting. From that experience I have learned so many important lessons of what it means to be a Christian coach; now, I am excited to partner with Bob Logan to raise the bar for Christian coaches both locally and globally.

Resources

Check out our FREE downloadable documents we believe every coach needs. If you are just beginning, these resources will be helpful to you. Here is just a sample of some of the templates you can download: Coach Agreement, Coaching Log, Action Planner, Action Planner Evaluation, and a Coaching Journal.

You can also subscribe to a brand new blog to get regular coaching tips from top Christian coaches and many of the latest coaching resources.

Assessment (Coming soon!)

Assessment is a powerful tool for targeted growth. We will host the only research-based 360° Christian Coaching Assessment that accurately identifies your coaching strengths and areas for development. Upon completion of the assessment, your report will direct you to updated resources that specifically address your needs so you can maximize your time and efforts to raise your effectiveness as a coach.

Here’s the thing: we all have a desire to grow as Christian coaches. You might have pursued certification or completed a coaching training course, yet still want something more. Do you want to grow in your coaching strengths? Do you want an objective way to evaluate your coaching effectiveness? Do you want a tool that includes the core competencies of a Christian coach? If so, I encourage you to learn more about this one-of-a-kind assessment!

Training

Our training is for every level of coaching in a variety of contexts. We are now offering five unique coach training paths:

• Independent Self-Study: A great way to kickstart your coaching journey and learn the fundamentals of coaching.
• Personalized Coach Mentoring: One-on-one mentoring to accelerate your growth as a coach.
• Equip People to Coach: A training kit with everything you need to train discipleship coaches.
• Coaching Excellence Track: The next step for experienced coaches who want to raise their effectiveness.
• Reproducible Coach Training: A training customized for the network leader to reproduce competent coaches across your organization.

We have considered the many various pathways a leader might want to pursue wherever he or she is on their journey. One of the most important commitments I made in my coach development was to pursue the services of a coach mentor. In fact, I hired two different mentors to have the diversity of learning from a female and a male perspective. This was a turning point for me!

In an article I wrote entitled Discover the 5 Best Ways to Grow as a Coach – CLICK HERE, I identified five levels of training. When you take the leap from “being coached,” reading about coaching, being trained as a coach to engaging a coach mentor in your development – you progress from amateur to pro! This is what happens when you move into the Coaching Excellence Track (see above).

More Resources on the Horizon!

Following closely in the wake of the new website is a brand new book! If you have been coaching for a while and desire to raise your effectiveness, this is a great resource for you. Christian Coaching Excellence takes coaches beyond the basics of coaching, offers a map for developing coaching excellence, and provides paths for targeted growth in coaching competencies and behavioral expressions. Take your coaching to the next level with Christian Coaching Excellence! Look for this book to be released in the coming weeks.

I am excited about this resource for two reasons: first, if you are a coach, this gives you a self-directed process to grow your coaching effectiveness; second, if you are a coach mentor, this puts a resource in your hands to offer additional value to the coaches you are developing.

We prayerfully ask the Lord to empower leaders through coaching to advance the work of the Kingdom!

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Assessment and Focus

by Gary Reinecke | Oct 21, 2021 | Coach Training, Uncategorized | 0 comments

This week, I continue to explain the differences between International Coach Federation and Christian Coaching. In this post, I will explore the differences in personal assessment and focus of coaching. Bob Logan is one of the best thinkers in the church planting world and a fantastic coach. We wrote the Coaching 101 Handbook together and our new book, which will be released on November 1st! Enjoy this post!

Observation #1: Ethical Guidelines

There are few differences between the Ethical Guidelines of the International Coaching Federation and Christian coaching. However, those differences are critical. If you missed last week’s post comparing Ethical Guidelines you can read it – CLICK HERE.

Observation #2: Personal Assessment

Christian Coaches constantly assess how they are helping their clients, make changes when necessary and adapt new approaches to help clients accelerate their development.

The Christian coach that believes that personal assessment is important will advance in their development. Did you catch that? Coaches who practice Self-Assessing are always developing! But that is not limited to the technical aspects of coaching. Christian coaches have the added dimension of their spiritual development that is intertwined with their values and ultimately their ethics.

The Bottom Line

In coaching we use the term Bottom-Lining. This is used when the coach senses the opportunity and necessity to help the client capture the moment in an impactful observation. And to say it in such a way that it carries a “punch.” Let me bottom-line the point we want to make under this observation.

Christian coaches who integrate their spiritual formation in their personal development will meet and exceed the ethical guidelines of secular coaches. Why is that? Because the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit reveals that which is hidden. In response, the self-aware coach will take notice of what He is bringing to her/his attention. Based on this personal assessment, the coach makes adjustments and changes their behavior.

Assess and Adapt

When I took my first Online Coach Assessment in March 2006 my overall score was in the Medium range (59.7) and the lowest score was in Abiding in Christ (52.2). That new awareness showed me that if I gave more concerted effort in this competency area, especially in the Micro-Skill of “Intercessory Prayer,” that I could improve my overall effectiveness. But first, I needed to come to grips with the realization that I was not paying attention to one of the meters on my coaching dashboard! What happened? Well, I would suggest it was a reality check that needed to register in my spirit to bring about the needed change. Which it did. From that point on I made a concerted effort to pray for each and every client, during each and every coach appointment, so that each and every client knew that I prayed for them.

Three years later when I took a second assessment my overall score jumped +4.1 points (63.8) and Abiding in Christ jumped 3.9 points (56.1). I shifted by effectiveness from a Medium performing coach to a High performing coach. I progressed in my development.

Observation #3: Focus

Christian Coaches focus on Kingdom impact and build-on the ICF understanding of the client’s goals in the Coach Agreement

Perhaps no question summarizes the focus of the Christian coach in setting the foundation for the coach agreement than the question we (Gary & Bob) have asked hundreds of leaders over our combined 65+ years of formal coaching experience. This one question distinguishes the Christian Coach from the secular coach. It may be worded differently given the client and the context but it has the same impact.

The question goes like this: “If you knew that you could not fail, what would you attempt for the Kingdom of God?”

Where the focus differs

I remember asking this question coaching a church planter not too long ago. The question caused him to stop, listen and reflect. This question does not make the list of best practices under the ICF Core Competencies. The reason: because we are intentionally and unapologetically bringing God into the conversation.

Simple questions can lead to profound insights. The church planter I asked that question to responded with his vision:

…to plant five missional communities with liturgical worship at the heart of these worshipping communities. The vision was planted in a marginalized community. And the people that participated in the mission served incarnationally. Ultimately, people would be missionally engaged (making disciples on purpose) with the goal of community transformation.

Wow! That is the kind of stuff that ushers in the Kingdom of God.

Bottom line. Christian Coaches focus on the impact clients can have on the Kingdom of God!

Resources

• 360 Coaching Assessment- Every coach should occasionally step back and assess their coaching skills. The 360-Degree Online Coach Assessment—named for its ability to provide feedback from the range of perspectives—is a research-based assessment tool built around nine core coaching competencies. It’s an effective way to get quick, accurate feedback on a person’s current level of coaching skills.
• Coaching Resources- We partner with Resource Zone to offer you excellent coaching guides, storyboards, profile assessments, and skills builders on a variety of topics. These resources are invaluable tools to help those you are coaching move forward and achieve their goals.

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Just one more week to the launch of a NEW COACHING WEBSITE and Christian Coaching Excellence!

Ethical Guidelines (ICF/Christian Coaching)

by Gary Reinecke | Oct 15, 2021 | Coach Training, Uncategorized | 0 comments

How is Christian coaching different from secular coaching? Below are the differences between International Coaching Federation and Christian Coaching. This week and next, we will share wisdom on the topic, beginning today with this post on the difference in ethical guidelines. Bob Logan is one of the best thinkers in the church planting world and a fantastic coach. We wrote the Coaching 101 Handbook together and our new book Christian Coaching Excellence will be available November 1st! Enjoy this post!

Observation #1: Ethical Guidelines

An excellent beginning

I wholeheartedly support and include all of the International Coaching Federation Ethical Guidelines in the practice of Christian Coaching. In fact, I would suggest that this is a solid foundation to begin the conversation of Christian coaching ethics. Notice the word “begin.” There is more to contribute on the issue of Christian coaching ethics that go beyond what is stated in the ICF Ethical Guidelines and specifically, in the ICF Code of Ethics. As Christian coaches this explanation is insufficient. How so?

Christian Coaches pursue ongoing spiritual growth and go beyond the ICF understanding of the Ethical Guidelines. 

Here is what ICF articulates in their Ethical Guidelines:

1. Demonstrates personal integrity and honesty in interactions with clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders
2. Is sensitive to clients’ identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs
3. Uses language appropriate and respectful to clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders
4. Abides by the ICF Code of Ethics and upholds the Core Values
5. Maintains confidentiality with client information per stakeholder agreements and pertinent laws
6. Maintains the distinctions between coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and other support professions
7. Refers clients to other support professionals, as appropriate

Further, under the ICF Team Coaching Competencies, ICF integrates the following Ethical Guidelines:

• Coaches the client team as a single entity
• Maintains the distinction between team coaching, team building, team training, team consulting, team mentoring, team facilitation, and other team development modalities
• Demonstrates the knowledge and skill needed to practice the specific blend of team development modalities that are being offered
• Adopts more directive team development modalities only when needed to help the team achieve their goals
• Maintains trust, transparency, and clarity when fulfilling multiple roles related to team coaching

Here is the difference

It leaves out the spiritual dimension. Most coaches recognize some element of this other dimension, but address it differently. In Co-Active Coaching the term used to describe this other dimension is “intuition.” For some secular coaches that would suggest human intuition, or perhaps, the “gut.” For other secular coaches it might infer a “spiritual” force or entity inside or outside the client that connects her/him to a greater purpose. It depends on the individual coach.

However, there exists a completely different paradigm that Christian coaches operate within in contrast to the secular coach. At her/his disposal the secular coach might sense something other… but that something other may or may not be a person. The Christian coach listens for that still soft voice that is the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit– the third person of the Trinity. The focus of the Christian coach is to find ways to cooperate with the Holy Spirit as a coach, and to challenge the client to do the same.

Borrowing terminology from John 15, Christian coaches call this competency Abiding in Christ. This one competency shapes our Christian Coaching Ethics. Implicit to the Christian is the quest for personal growth, through an ongoing relationship with Christ.

Resources

• Coaching 101– An introduction to Christian coaching, Coaching 101 will help you discover the power of coaching in your life both as a coach and as someone being coached.
• Coaching 101 Handbook- This handbook is packed full of practical ways you can improve your skills in coaching those God has brought your way. You will gain a deeper appreciation of the coaching process and ‘coming alongside’ to help others as you understand the model outlined in these pages.
• 360 Coaching Assessment- Every coach should occasionally step back and assess their coaching skills. The 360-Degree Online Coach Assessment—named for its ability to provide feedback from the range of perspectives—is a research-based assessment tool built around nine core coaching competencies. It’s an effective way to get quick, accurate feedback on a person’s current level of coaching skills.