Why Telling People What to Believe Doesn’t Work Anymore
Ever had one of those moments where someone asks you a simple question, and your brain decides to answer with everything including the kitchen sink?
That happened to me recently in a workshop. A participant raised their hand and asked a straightforward question: How do you define coaching for disciple-making?
Instead of giving a crisp response, I launched into a convoluted explanation that felt more like a sprawling lecture than a helpful answer. As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I needed to step back and reflect.
How could I make this succinct, clear, and actually compelling?
To get there, I realized I had to start with the foundational question: What is a disciple?
Back in seminary, I had the privilege of observing Bill Bright up close. His heart and passion sparked a fire in me—a commitment to spend my life understanding discipleship. Forty years later, I’m still on that quest.
If I had to boil four decades of learning down to its simplest form, it’s this:
A disciple is an apprentice of Jesus who loves God, loves neighbors, and makes disciples.
Why Coaching Matters Today
Tools like The Four Spiritual Laws or The JESUS Film were remarkably fruitful in a modern culture that valued clear, logical arguments. But the culture has shifted.
Today, people far from God are far more likely to embrace truth when they discover it for themselves, rather than when it’s handed to them.
This is why a coach approach is so crucial right now. We all take far more ownership over the truths we uncover ourselves. During that same workshop, I coached a campus pastor to brainstorm fresh steps for his ministry. The three ideas he generated didn’t come from me—he landed on them himself. And the idea he was most excited to act on was the very last one he discovered.
A Working Definition
With that in mind, here is my attempt to integrate a coaching mindset directly into disciple-making:
Disciple-making coaching is listening well to empower apprentices of Jesus to discern their next step to love God, love neighbors, and multiply disciples.
It centers on three things:
- Listening: Tuning into the Holy Spirit while deeply listening to the person in front of you.
- Empowering: What happens when someone discerns God’s voice for themselves.
- Multiplying: Keeping the process simple enough to reproduce over and over.
I’d love your feedback!
Does this definition hit the mark for you, or is there a word you’d tweak, add, or cut? I read every reply and would value your perspective.