The Coaching Secret: Why the Best Leaders Never Stop Growing
We have all met them—the leaders who seem to have it all together, yet their growth has hit a distinct plateau. Then, there are the others. The ones who are constantly expanding their capacity, handling fresh challenges with a surprising amount of grace, and lifting everyone around them.
When I reflect on the leaders I have coached or trained to be coaches, the vast majority were coachable. C.S. Lewis stated, ‘Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.’ This is foundational to a coachable leader. Occasionally, I encountered leaders who thought a lot about themselves and less about others. It required a lot of heavy lifting and patience on my part to work with the latter.
What separates the two? It isn’t raw talent or a higher IQ. It comes down to one game-changing trait: coachability.
In his insightful book, Ten Marks of a Coachable Leader, Gary Rohrmayer unpacks what it looks like when a leader is truly ready to grow. If you are a coach, a mentor, or a leader wanting to invest in your team, recognizing these traits changes everything. Let’s walk through Rohrmayer’s ten marks together, complete with a quick gut-check for you as the coach and an inventory question to ask the leaders you serve.
1. Understanding Spiritual Authority
Coachable leaders recognize that they aren’t the ultimate authority; they operate under a bigger, divine map. They willingly yield their own ego and agenda because they respect the spiritual guardrails and leadership structures placed around them.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I modeling a yielded life, or am I leaning too heavily on my own expertise and title?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: Where are you currently wrestling with submission to authority, and how is that impacting your peace?
2. Action-Oriented
Insight without action is just a nice conversation. Coachable leaders don’t just nod along during a session; they leave the room looking for ways to immediately test, apply, and execute the strategies you discussed.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I celebrating a leader’s insights, or am I pushing them toward concrete, measurable action steps?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: Looking at our last conversation, what is the single most important action step you took?
3. Stretchable
True growth happens right at the edge of our comfort zones. These leaders don’t shrink back when a goal feels intimidating; instead, they allow their coaches to expand their thinking, their capacity, and their vision for what is possible.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I playing it too safe with this leader, or am I offering healthy challenges that stretch their faith and skills?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: What is one goal on your plate right now that feels just beyond your current strength, and how can we approach it?
4. Exhibiting Readiness and Adaptability
Change is the only constant in leadership, and coachable people don’t break when the winds shift. They maintain an agile mindset, staying mentally prepared to pivot their strategies when circumstances mutate.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I helping this leader anticipate shifting tides, or am I just helping them manage their current routine?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: When unexpected changes hit your organization recently, how did your team see you respond?
5. Taking Initiative with the Coach
The best coaching relationships are pulled, not pushed. A coachable leader doesn’t wait for their mentor to chase them down, send reminders, or provide artificial motivation; they own their growth and actively drive the relationship forward.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I doing too much heavy lifting or chasing this leader down to get them to show up?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: How can you take greater ownership of our time together to ensure we are tackling your highest priorities?
6. Making Key Adjustments
It is one thing to identify a blind spot; it’s quite another to actually change your behavior. Coachable leaders have the humility and willpower to alter their habits, schedules, and communication styles based on honest feedback.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I giving specific, actionable feedback that allows the leader to make precise behavioral shifts?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: What is one piece of recent feedback you’ve received that requires you to alter a daily habit?
7. Embracing Reality
You cannot fix what you refuse to see. Leaders who are ready to grow don’t sugarcoat bad numbers, minimize conflict, or make excuses for poor performance—they look reality square in the eye so they can deal with it honestly.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I letting this leader spin a narrative, or am I gently helping them confront the hard, objective facts?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: If we strip away all the excuses, what is the raw, unvarnished truth about the current state of your ministry?
8. Tenacious
Growth isn’t a straight line upward; it involves setbacks, criticism, and flat-out exhausting days. Tenacious leaders possess the grit to stay the course, honoring their commitments and pushing through obstacles even when the initial excitement fades.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: How am I fortifying this leader’s endurance and spiritual reserves rather than just giving them tactical advice?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: Where are you feeling tempted to throw in the towel right now, and what is keeping you anchored?
9. Possessing a Constructive Spirit of Discontent
This isn’t a toxic, cynical complaint—it’s a holy restlessness. Coachable leaders have a deep gratitude for where they are, combined with a sharp, clear vision that whispers, “This could be better, and we can go further.”
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I helping the leader distinguish between healthy, visionary discontent and unhealthy, exhausting burnout?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: What is the one area under your leadership that you are most proud of, yet know has the greatest room to grow?
10. Letting Go of the Past and Pushing Forward
Yesterday’s failures can paralyze us, but yesterday’s successes can trap us just as easily. A coachable leader processes the past, extracts the wisdom, and then consciously releases it so they can run unhindered into the future God has prepared for them.
- Self-Reflection for the Coach: Am I allowing this leader to live in the rearview mirror, or am I consistently pointing their gaze to the horizon?
- Assessment Question for the Leader: What old narrative, failure, or past success do you need to finally leave behind so you can fully step into what’s next?
Why This Book Belongs on Your Shelf
If your mission is to empower other leaders, Ten Marks of a Coachable Leader is a critical tool for your toolkit. Here is how it maximizes your impact:
- Smarter Selection: Use these ten marks as a strategic grid to vet the leaders and emerging leaders around you. It will help you quickly identify the hungriest, highest-potential leaders so you can invest your limited time and energy where it will yield the greatest return.
- Personal Clarification: Leadership development is a mirror. This book serves as a personal gut-check, reminding you to keep your own spirit humble, stay coachable, and fully capitalize on the growth opportunities right in front of you.
- Immediate Accessibility: Don’t let the slim size fool you. This is a clear, fast-paced read packed with highly practical insights that you can immediately apply to your own life and share with the leaders you are mentoring.
The Bottom Line: Coaching isn’t about fixing broken leaders; it’s about unlocking the latent potential in healthy, hungry ones. When you spot these ten marks, you aren’t just looking at a leader—you’re looking at a catalyst for the future.
